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by **isabella_7w7** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:43 am

Well my husband and I have been together off and on for about a year now. He used to live in the same state that I live in, but he got forced to move to another state. He has come back to visit me though but he has only been gone for about a month now. But anyways.. We have an off and on again relationship, and right now we are off again. He's up here visiting and he leaves tomorrow morning, but in the time that he was up here things between us were just kind of bad most of the time and it was mostly my fault. We are broken up right now and when I talked to him about it and getting back together he says that he really wants to still be committed to each other but wants to work everything out and just work on our relationship before we get back together again so everything can be close to perfect. Well the way he acts towards me just seems a bit different to me now, one second he'll be all over me and the next he won't. He used to be all over me all the time and all cute and lovely and stuff, but now he just seems so distant and I hate it. It sometimes seems like he's sending me mixed signals and stuff. But anyways his ex-girlfriend has always tried breaking us up and still loves him. Well before in our relationship I didn't really believe anything she told me and I always beloved my man. Well she's starting to try and get him back again and yeah her and him still talk, not that much, actually I don't even know how often they talk anymore. =/ Or what they talk about I mean I don't care if they are friends but now I really don't know anything. She tells me all this stuff on how much he loves her and he doesn't love just all this stuff and me anymore. I talked/asked my man about it and he just got all irritated because we go through this a lot and every time he has always been right, but now I don't know anymore. He told me that he loves me and only me and if he really wanted to be with her then he would and be strait up with me, but he says he doesn't. He says that she's always trying to text and call him and stuff and it's true, she is and when I'm there he doesn't answer anything from her, but how do I know that he doesn't call her back or anything when I leave? He is always usually strait up with me no matter what and he has never cheated on anyone before. But now I really don't know. It seems like everything is changing and I'm so scared. He tells me not to be scared and I have nothing to worry about and that nothing is changing between us because he still loves me. But how do I really know that when everything including him is changing? I mean he still sits down and talks with me and tells me some pretty deep stuff and I know with all my heart he loves me. I've already tried the whole leave him and if he comes back thing, There's been times where he's even cried. I love him so much! I'm in love with him. But with everything going on now, Who do I believe? How do I know if he's lying to me? I need help! I don't want to get hurt or be played.

someone please help me!

by **twinkle** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 12:15 pm

How can you be in a relationship/marriage if you live in separate states???? If he can't move back then why don't you go with him. You are NOT in a relationship if you spend time apart and live separate lives half the time.

As for his ex girlfriend, if she means nothing to him, get him to call her when you are there and get him to put her straight. If she still persists....restraining order!!!!

by **andri_cy** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 12:20 pm

I agree with twinkle. If he had to move, you should see about moving with him. Marriage isnt an off and on relationship. You need to either make it work or end it. It would be the best for both of you. On the ex, I agree with what twinkle suggested.

by **Kikapu** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 12:28 pm

I think she should call Dr. Laura. (Radio talk show host in USA)

She will tell Isabella_7w7 what to do......

"Get rid off that looser part- time husband of yours woman. Are you that desperate for his attention. Get a dog, al least the dog is always there, when you call for him". :!:

by **LENA** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 1:23 pm

Isabella_7w7....welcome to the forum...I saw that it was your first post!
I don't agree with none of the previews posts...if you love him and you know that he loves you too as you said...and he used to be honest...always...he probably doing the same thing right now. He might be honest but you are hesitating because he is away! Try to trust him. Relationships are based on trust, sincerity, love....(lots of other things)!! I think that you feel that way because you love him and when you love someone you are jealous and if he was close to you you would be fine. But because he is away you are getting crazy with all this. And probably your imagination with your jealousy create you all this unsecured feeling! But on the other hand that ex-girlfriend and the fact that he is away...worries me a little bit! I think that its a good idea to move with him if you can! But sometimes distance is not that bad for the relationship if is not for a long time...but if it is...and you truly love him and you are sure about his feelings...go with him!

by **GorillaGal** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:22 pm

sounds like you know what to do, isabella, you just don't want to, and that you are living in denial, trying to convince yourself otherwise.
listen honey, i have been married, and i have been divorced, and divorced is soooo much better!
good luck to you!

by **twinkle** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:04 pm

Lena, I read somewhere that you are only 22...memories. Believe me relationships over a distance are a strain.

by **karma** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:22 pm

Isabella, if u pay for my tickets, I can come to USA and help u to destroy that bitch..I m very good at tht stuff..

by **LENA** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:26 pm

twinkle wrote:Lena, I read somewhere that you are only 22...memories. Believe me relationships over a distance are a strain.

Twinkle you have a good memory...am 22...and you are right are strain!!! Thats why I said that she is feeling that why...because of the distance...and for the same reason I said that she must think to move with him if she is sure about her feelings and his feelings. I might be young but I had few experience. When I think that I might be wrong or when I dont have enough knowledge (like political subject) I usually read and dont post!!! Thats why I said distance might be good for a short term not for a long time!

by **Pete_D** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:28 pm

Personally I think you need to talk to your bloke honestly about the way you feel and about how you are not happy. Maybe even give him an ultimatum about the whole thing?

Quite often, us men are pretty thick. He might well not have realised the extent of how you feel... believe me, we don't always pick up all the signs (a lot of us are not very subtle!).

If you do this, you give him a chance to explain and put it all right, if that is what he wants, and to show you that he can be trusted by you.

Believe me, men are surprisingly uncomplicated creatures. If he really wants you and he really loves you then I promise you, one way or the other you WILL end up winning out in the end and you will get your own way. In this case that means living in the same place (I think, from what you said). Ultimately, if he's worth it and he means what he says and he still wants to be part of this relationship then he knows which side his bread is buttered and he'll come running if given the ultimatum.

This is the "secret truth" to men you see - behind every good man, there is always a good woman, running the show!

(Sorry to all you fellow guys out there for revealing these things to womankind everywhere

)

Pete

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