Cyprus-Forum.com

[Leonidas]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR THE U.S. PRESIDENT GIVE

THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime

has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our

mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American

forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now

time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries

which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is

short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland

are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the

world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be

distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those

nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved

during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the

Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world

Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this

money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations Screw with us and we

will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face

of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France

, Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are

retiring from NATO as well! Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN

diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid

parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded

and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You

creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets

tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York .

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are

likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to

try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt

government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple

extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going

to put em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -

starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for

oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for

decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this

decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.

Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn

tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the

world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on

the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to

eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final

thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't for get.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to

speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,

thank a soldier.

[eracles]

isn't this basically some hillbilly american propoganda?

[cankertoo]

i think this should be moved to the jokes section.

[mountainman]

Heaven forbid that America did this, there would be chaos as everybody else rushed around trying to find someone else to blame for all the world's ills.

[Leonidas]

Why am I surprised at the responses?
Cyprus IS on #2 list.
So is Greece. And the bombing of the US embassy in Greece proves a lot.

[Sotos]

I wish they said that so WWIII will finally start so the evil american empire will finally come to an end. Whole world united against the Axis of evil that USA leads. That day will come!

[Leonidas]

Fuck americans. I wish they said that so WWIII will finally start so the evil american empire will finally come to an end. Whole world united against the Axis of evil that USA leads. That day will come!

Nice Soto. The economy of the countries on # 2 list will collapse if the US stopped trading with them.

Look at what happened after September 11th.

Dream on that little Cyprus will survive then.

[Eliko]

Leonidas, you forgot to mention what your great country is going to do in order to eradicate all the evils you have perpetrated on the 'Red Indians' of your precious country, the fact that you give to poorer nations is merely a smokescreen to cover the fact that you have robbed them in the first place, you have lied and cheated to such a degree that it has become the 'norm' of your society, respectable cultures want no part of it and are showing their resistance the world over.

[orokliniservices]

"A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are

likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to

try not pissing us off for a change."

So we're pissing YOU off????!!!!! We're the ones who are pissed off because we're mistaken for Americans cause we share similar accents... Why do you think we parade around sewing Canadian flag patches on our backpacks.. branding ourselves Canadian so we're not mistaken for YANKS!!

Think before you start on your policital high horse, at least we're not SPAMS!!

[Leonidas]

Leonidas, you forgot to mention what your great country is going to do in order to eradicate all the evils you have perpetrated on the 'Red Indians' of your precious country, the fact that you give to poorer nations is merely a smokescreen to cover the fact that you have robbed them in the first place, you have lied and cheated to such a degree that it has become the 'norm' of your society, respectable cultures want no part of it and are showing their resistance the world over.

Oh whatever. Just in case you forgot it was the English and the French that moved into the Indian teritories.

Maybe we should had stayed out of WWII and let you all speak German.