Cyprus-Forum.com

[GG]

Ok, maybe this should have been posten in the 'Cyprus Problem' section as far as I am concerned its an issue more daunting than any square headed people living in Northern Cyprus.

What is it about Greek mothers, why are they so possesive with their sons, and so obstructing with their daughter in-laws. I can understand that any parent wants the best for their child but the involvement and unhealthy interest that mothers take in theor sons relationships etc is so wierd, and I am talking about grown men in theor late 20's and even 40's somethimes.

Can anyone understand the mentality or psychology behind it?

[Kikapu]

What is it about Greek mothers, why are they so possesive with their sons, and so obstructing with their daughter in-laws.

Can anyone understand the mentality or psychology behind it?

I think, it has to do with Mothers not wanting to lose their "security guarantees" in later life, after the husband dies. They see the daughter -in-laws as the "evil person", who has taken that "security" away from her.

There are others out there, who would say, that's because mothers want to have sex with their sons, and are jealous by the daughter-in-law.

Ohhh Pleeeeese, say that is not true.

[Jerry]

I'm afraid its the "village" mentality where they all used to live close together, not that there is anything wrong with being a close family. I'm afraid Cypriots find it difficult if not impossible to let go they don't understand that a son or daughter should be allowed to make their own way in life, they mistake supporting their children for controlling them. I know a 90 year old man who regularly insists on feeding his able-bodied 55 year old son because he worries about him, he even does the washing up on his zimmer!

[GG]

If I feel lazy and I ask my girl to do something for me and she says no, my mum will look like she is gonna explode at the injustice, Its quite funny.

Quick joke:


Q: Why don't Greek mothers drink?

A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

[anastasiaC]

why do Greek boys have moustaches?
so they can look like their mother....

its complicated - there is nothing wrong with being a mummy's boy
but Greek parents dont know how to let go of their kids
I guess with time it will change....
I actually like having my parents care so much to interfere ...well sometimes...
its when they baby them or say silly comments
like my Mother in law will tell my husband oh you look thin...or dont you eat??
I take it like a personal attack on me but I have to learn not to do that.

[reportfromcyprus]

What is it about Greek mothers, why are they so possesive with their sons, and so obstructing with their daughter in-laws.

Can anyone understand the mentality or psychology behind it?

I think, it has to do with Mothers not wanting to lose their "security guarantees" in later life, after the husband dies. They see the daughter -in-laws as the "evil person", who has taken that "security" away from her.

There are others out there, who would say, that's because mothers want to have sex with their sons, and are jealous by the daughter-in-law.

Ohhh Pleeeeese, say that is not true.

I don't think that's true, it's not an erotic urge in a strictly sexual sense, but in a more dominating, hierarchical sense, if you get my meaning. There are alpha females as well as alpha males, and they are just as controlling. This kind of mother is found in other societies as well, and they are usually the alpha female that leads the family. A lot of the time they run the family finances and contribute a lot of the wealth and security to the family.

I'm not saying it doesn't go too far, when they start interfering with their son's relationships, it's gone too far unless it's genuine concern. But when seen in a healthy way, these are strong women who keep their families together.

[GG]

I dont think men have a choice about being a 'mummy's boy' or not.

From the moment they are born they have everything done for them and it just never stops. They are trained by their mothers to think that it is the norm. I think the term mummy's boy shouldb be dropped and the label be attached to the responsible person 'Doting Mother' !



Much the same applies to 'Daddy's Girl', they are put on a pedestal and used to being put first all the time, taught never to compromise, unlimited supply of cash and holidays and cars etc. Then the poor cow goes and meets a guy and expects to continue the same life and look puzzled when their husband says stuff like "Honey we can't afford it". Not to mention makes the poor husband feel like sh*t, double worse when she continues to syphon cash from daddy.

[humanist]

I think I'd like to be a daddy's girl .... it sounds more fun.

[Snad]

I dont think men have a choice about being a 'mummy's boy' or not.

From the moment they are born they have everything done for them and it just never stops. They are trained by their mothers to think that it is the norm. I think the term mummy's boy shouldb be dropped and the label be attached to the responsible person 'Doting Mother' !



Much the same applies to 'Daddy's Girl', they are put on a pedestal and used to being put first all the time, taught never to compromise, unlimited supply of cash and holidays and cars etc. Then the poor cow goes and meets a guy and expects to continue the same life and look puzzled when their husband says stuff like "Honey we can't afford it". Not to mention makes the poor husband feel like sh*t, double worse when she continues to syphon cash from daddy.

I have three grown up boys and each one can wash, iron, cook and clean. It must be a Cypriot thing as I brought up my boys to fend for themselves and don't treat women like slaves.

I have never interfered in any of their relationships and never would.
What most mothers don't understand is the age old adage, that children are only on loan to you and not yours exclusively

[Kikapu]

I have three grown up boys and each one can wash, iron, cook and clean. It must be a Cypriot thing as I brought up my boys to fend for themselves and don't treat women like slaves.

I have never interfered in any of their relationships and never would.
What most mothers don't understand is the age old adage, that children are only on loan to you and not yours exclusively

That's great Snad. I don't even feel comfortable when my girlfriend irons my shirts. Don't get me wrong, I do like it when she does it, but do not expect it. I do things she does not like doing, like cooking and vacuuming.

My twin sister, living in Turkey has 2 girls and a boy. The youngest is the boy, who is now 26. He is the most spoilt person I know. He lives at home and off his parents, because he is too good to work for someone else. They had opened up couple of small businesses for him, but has failed. He does not have the will to work, he just wants to be the boss and go and buy brand name clothes. He does not wear the same shirt twice in the same month or longer. The parents have done and paid for everything up to this point. I chew out my sister about my nephew once in awhile, but she tells me that, in Turkey, it is expected that the parents sacrifice everything for their children.

Oh, what a waste.