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[villawagen]

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN


Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, man made or natural. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain and whine about getting fat. Get in shower. Look for facecloth, arm cloth, loincloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash hair once with cucumber and lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. Wash hair again with cucumber and lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil leave on hair for 15 mins. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 mins until face is red raw. Wash entire rest of body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 mins to make sure that it’s all come off. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot. Turn off shower. Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with a towel the size of small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. Check entire body for the remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails/tweezers (if you can find them). Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If husband seen, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to the bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her while shouting ‘Way Hey!!’ Look in mirror and suck in gut to see your manly physique. Admire the size of knob in the mirror, scratch bollocks and smell fingers for one last whiff. Get in shower. Don’t bother to look for wash cloth? Don’t need one. Wash face. Wash armpits. Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower. Wash bollocks and the surrounding area. Wash arse, leaving hair on the soap. Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner. Make mohican hairstyle with shampoo. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror. Piss in shower. Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because shower curtain outside bath for the whole shower time. Partially dry off. Look at self in mirror, flex muscles and admire size of knob again. Leave bathroom light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you see wife, pull off towel, grab knob, go ‘Yeah Baby’ and thrust pelvis at her. Put on yesterday’s clothes.

[BOF]

great villawagen!
But honestly WHO is going to admit they shower like a man?
And if you do what will the ladies think of you?

[villawagen]

:lol: great villawagen!
But honestly WHO is going to admit they shower like a man?
And if you do what will the ladies think of you?

i shower like a man exept for the bit about making your hair stand up like a mohecan, as i cannot do that coz i am a baldy

[dinos]

:lol: great villawagen!
But honestly WHO is going to admit they shower like a man?
And if you do what will the ladies think of you?

i shower like a man exept for the bit about making your hair stand up like a mohecan, as i cannot do that coz i am a baldy

So do I, except I don't smell my fingers after scratching my balls.

[andri_cy]

I shower like a.... WONT TELL....

[Eliko]

Come on now lads, what about the quick J Arther ?,

[Snad]

This is sooooooo funny and soooooo true.

[humanist]

I can tell you that my ex- boyfriend shoered like a man ...... I have a new boyfriend now who showers like himself ...... he showers with shower curtin inside the bathtub and mops afterwards if there's water on floor.

[dinos]

I dry myself off in the shower as I'm too lazy to mop anything up.

[villawagen]

i like to smell my fingers