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by **Eliko** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 4:14 pm

Did you hear about the frustrated Scottish homosexual in India ?
"Och, I'll have to have a 'Monsoon!"

by **villawagen** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 4:59 pm

i found that you have to read that one out loud in a scottish accent, before you understand it :wink:

by **THE HIGHLANDER** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 8:27 pm

I've heard young kids at kinder garden tell better jokes !!!!!!!!!
I take it your in the 3-9 age group catogary.........In a nutshell your joke was crap........"Or as Wee Scots would say Utter Pish"

by **tony harte** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 4:41 am

A fly lands in the pint of beer belonging to a very large Scotsman

He picks the fly out of his drink

Holds it up to his eye an says

"Spit it ooout ya barstard"

by **THE HIGHLANDER** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 9:11 am

That's a wee but better Tony more like my banter but still no making me laugh out loud mibee a chuckle !!!!!!!!!!!!!

by **stuballstu** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:31 pm

I was in a bar in Ayia Napa watching the football with a Scots friend of mine. He was having his usual tipple of beer and whiskey, putting his whiskey in his beer. During the second half he went up to get his round, by the way he is not shy on going to the bar, he orders his beer, whiskey and my beer. After the barman puts the drinks on the bar he picked up my beer and said to the barman " could you put a whisky in there then? To which the barman replied "yes" So Sandy said to him "Well do you want to fill the f*cking glass up wi beer then?" The look on the barmans face was priceless.

by **skyvet** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 3:46 pm

A Scotsman married a Red Indian Squaw, and they moved to live in Scotland. They were very happy, and sooner rather than later she found she was pregnant. When the child was born, she asked whether the baby might be given a Red Indian name. Her husband preferred a good Scottish name, but being a reasonable man he agreed to a compromise. They called the child Hawkeye the Noo.