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[Kartal_Aetos]

CATHOLIC PARROTS

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him. "Father, I have a
problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing
"

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, Then he thought for a moment.

"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two
male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage
with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots
are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he
ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage
holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:
"Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence.

Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and
exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered."

[dinos]

Parrot jokes:

This guy is in a plane when he feels thirsty. So he calls for the stewardess and asks her politely for a Large Whiskey. There's a parrot in the seat next to him, who snaps, "A double Scotch and make it quick." "Yes, sir" the stewardess says, and quickly gets the bird his drink - but ignores the guy. The parrot downs his in one gulp, and says "gimme another." The stewardess gets him a second drink, ignoring the guy again. The guy, meanwhile has been asking for his drink very politely. He then decides to use the parrot's tactics and snarls at the stewardess, "You @#*$% hag, get me my bloody Scotch!" Suddenly a large co-pilot comes out of the cockpit and ejects both the guy and the parrot off the plane.

As they're falling, the parrot turns to the guy and says, "AAACK..you know, you're really brave for someone that can't fly..."

**************

So this guy goes into a pet store and sees a beautiful parrot but it has a blue string handing from one foot and a red one from the other. He thinks this is a little strange so he asks the shopkeeper what the strings are for. "Well this is a highly trained parrot" the shopkeeper replies. "If you pull the red string he speaks French, if you pull the blue string he speaks English".

"Wow" exclaims the man shopping. "That's really neat. What happens if you pull them both at the same time?"

"I fall off my perch, you idiot!" exclaims the parrot.