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[skyvet]

On a flight from London Heathrow to New York JFK, a blonde was sitting in economy. Shortly after take-off, she noticed there was a spare seat in first class, so quickly moved into it.
A flight attendant spotted this transgression, and asked her to move back into economy, as she only had an economy ticket. "But I'm blonde, and I'm beautiful" she replied, "and I'm staying in first class where I belong".
The flight attendant sought help from the co-pilot, and he also tried to get her to move back into economy, but with the same response. "I'm blonde, and I'm beautiful, and I'm staying in first class where I belong". Fearing the wrath of the Captain, the co-pilot returnd to the flight deck and explained his failure to move the blonde. "Leave it to me" said the Captain. "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this". With that, he went to where the blonde was sitting, and whispered in her ear. She immediately got up, and returned to economy. "What on earth did you say to her?" asked the co-pilot and the flight attendant. The Captain replied, "I told her that first class wasn't going to New York!"

[reportfromcyprus]

I'll see your blondie and raise you a granny!

Miss Judy, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and Its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no Longer resist. "Miss Judy", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it Would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter." SMILE

[reportfromcyprus]

She was soooooooooooooo blonde...
... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

... she thought a quarterback was a refund.

... she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order

... she thought Boyz II Men was a day-care center.

... she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.

... she thought General Motors was in the Army.

... she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

... she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

... under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".

... she tried to drown a fish.

... she tripped over a cordless phone.

... she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it
said "concentrate".

... she got stabbed in a shoot-out.

... she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK".

... they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

... at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius".

... she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

... it takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes".

... she studied for a blood test-and failed.

... she thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train".

... she sold the car for gas money.

... when she saw the movie rating "NC-17: under 17 not admitted", she went home and got 16 friends.

... when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

... she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

... when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

... when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left", she turned around and went home.

... she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

[Brent2403]

I'll see your granny and raise you a great granny !

So this ventriloquist was on stage and going thru loads of blonde jokes. This rather attractive but typically dumb blonde has had enough of this and stands up to proclaim her annoyance.

Its only a joke says the ventriloquist

Shut up, says the blonde, I was talking to the little guy !!!!

[zan]

I'll see your great granny and raise you an Irish nanny.

She thought pubic hair was Bugs Bunnys' cousin.

She thought Muffin the Mule was a criminal offence.

OK! OK! I was trying to bluff.

[RichardB]

I.ll raise your nanny for a yiayia

Whts pink, wrinkled and hangs out your pants?

Your Granny

[reportfromcyprus]

You callin' my granny a bum?

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
“So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets
are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes.
They are a real pain," reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc.......she felt
that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically
balanced," as she put it.
"That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at
this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the
bushes.
Three weeks pass and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part.
You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow
has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How
could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will Immediately
create a man from a part of you. Now let's see............where did I put that useless tit?
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?

[Kikapu]

A blond takes her car to a"body repair shop" to have all the little dings from her car doors taken out.

The guy says to her, you know, it's going to be expensive and I don't think your car is worth that, so why don't you go home, wait for few hours, until the car cools off, then go to the back of the car, get on your knees, and then blow as hard as you can into the exhaust pipe, and all the little dings will just pop out.

So the blond goes home, waits for the car to cool off, then gets on her knees, and starts blowing hard into the exhaust pipe. A brunette was walking by, and asks, "what are you doing down there", and the blond explains everything, which the brunette say, "yeah but, you need to roll the windows up first silly".!!

[reportfromcyprus]

Kiks, you biased against brunettes?

LOL

[Kikapu]

Kiks, you biased against brunettes?

LOL

Why no, I love all women. How can you tell anymore what is the natural hair colour, so I don't discount anyone, until I find out that the "curtain doesn't match the rug".!!!