by Kikapu » Thu Oct 05, 2006 6:38 pm
Cankertoo,
OK Cankertoo, it's about time, I set you straight.
First of all Women do not care too much on Men's looks. Now I said Women and not Girls or Bimbos. At age 28, you need to be looking at Women. Women don't go for looks, they go for LOVE. Ever heard of "Phantom of the Opera" or "Beauty and the Beast" or the "Elephant Man". How often do you see a beautiful women with less than average looking guy. No, it has nothing to do with Money, Cars, House, Job, or what's in their trousers. It's has to do with WHO they are that the women has found them interesting to be with them. The only problem is, it takes a woman a long time to find you attractive for herself. They look for spontaenity, humour, wit, politeness, caring, love for people and animals, laughing at your self for silly things that you'll do from time to time, and all this takes time. You know the saying, " Rome was not built in a Day". Also don't try to be only "interesting" but also be "interested". By being "interesting" you're telling her everything about you and what you want and what you like and so on whether she likes it or not. It's better to be "interesting" and listen in what she has to say.
Secondly, dump all your male friends when you go out. When you're in a group of guys, your odds are reduced finding a nice lady for yourself. I mean look, there are 5 of you, all drinking like idiots, acting like a fools, and you all spot a nice lady, and all start salivating with all crude comments about her, and the pressure starts, as to who is going to approach her, as if she is a "landing strip" to set the plane down. You know you're shy, so guess who's not going to "land their plane" tonight.!! So where does one go to meet a nice lady. Well, forget Bars and Disco. You'll waste your time and your money. The music is too laud and can't talk and too many guys are waiting for you to be shot down by her, so that they can step in. If you want to just get laid, go to a brothel.
So where shall I go, you're asking still. The answer is, "Nowhere Special". You will meet her when you meet her, and people always do, over and over again. Just don't let opportunities pass by, when you think you have meet some one you like.
Now, about your shyness. That can be a problem and it will get in the way, because you will see yourself being "inadequate". I know Sotos try to help you with reading a book, but you can't live your life with a book in one hand and a woman on the other. For instance, I can never cook from a "Cook Book" and yet, I cook just fine. Enough to please a woman in any case.
There use to be a program in the 80's called "est", Erhard Seminar Training, by Werner Erhard, but was changed later on and now it is called "Landmark Education". It is a tough course, which takes over 2 weekends, 4 days in total, and it is not cheap, but in your case, you will benefit a great deal. Amongst many other things, you will discover who you really are and what you want. It will give you more confidence than Superman. Just take what you want from the program, and leave behind what you don't want, at the end of the program. I don't even know, if they have one where you are. They are based in San Francisco, but do have "special trainings" all over the world now and again. Go on to GOOGLE and search for EST or Werner Seminar Training or Landmark Education, and also with "WikipediA"
Good Luck.
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