Cyprus-Forum.com

[nasos007]

Fresh from the Comedy Festival:

Edinburgh Fringe Quotes...
>
>
> I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a
> goat.
> Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms
>
> Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
> Jimmy Carr
>
> The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to
> arm bears.
> Chris Addison at the Pleasance
>
> My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most
> of our family holidays in Customs.
> Patrick Monahan at the Gilded Balloon (my critics choice!)
>
> The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died. Dido must be
> sh*tting herself.
> Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance
>
> My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but
> I was never smacked as a child... well maybe one or two grams to get
> me to sleep at night.
> Susan Murray at the Underbelly
>
> Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind
> people were given pointed sticks?
> Adam Bloom at the Pleasance
>
> My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when
> I was two, 'cause they wanted me to sound like a tw*t.
> Susan Murray at the Underbelly
>
> You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you,
> because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite
> flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening...
> Self-raising?"
> Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms
>
> The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and
> punched someone in the face.
> Jeremy Limb, at the Trap
>
> I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought
> the obvious one was "Shout For Help".
> Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron
>
> I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the
> Girl out of Cork...
> Markus Birdman at the Pod Deco
>
> Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along.
> Turned
> out it was a bloody hoax.
> Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance
>
> Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a
> winner and a loser at the same time.
> Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms
>
> A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please".
> The
> hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join
> the circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a
> plumber".
> Steven Alan Green at C34
>
> Hey - you want to feel really handsome? Go shopping at Asda.
> Brendon Burns at the Pleasance
>
> I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've
> already got one!"
> Norman Lovett at The Stand
>
> It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.
> Chris Addison at the Pleasance
>
> I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not
> very good at it.
> Arnold Brown at The Stand
>
> If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a
> tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
> They're
> trained for that.
> Milton Jones at the Underbelly

[kyprea]

rofl... thats was a great read!!!