Cyprus-Forum.com

[anastasiaC]

Andri - I can understand your frustration and what you did was right
id press charges too - the guy has an attitude and deserves to be locked up!

but your friend needs support, women like that need all the support they can get ....there is no way she can get out of a relationship like that without support.......
she knows its wrong but she is helpless and yes her self esteem is very low as Im sure the guy is abusing her emotionally as well........
just let her know you will be there for her.....its easy to say not to get involved or its none of your business
but if she is truly a close friend you need to be there for her or advise her of where to go for help.

[TaraT]

You are obviously a very caring person and you are a good friend for taking her in but you can't force her not to go back. I hope your daughter was not aroung witnessing any violence. I hope your friend realizes that he may end up killing her.

[Kikapu]

My cousin was on that plane. She was only 16.?

That is really sad to hear. It has to be very devastating to your whole family. There's really nothing that I can say, that will bring any comfort to you all. Only time will heal the pain, for loss of a loved one.

[GG]

I have always been so curious to know what goes through a womans mind when she does such things as go back to a man that beats her.

I was thinking about this over the weekend with that man that was having an argument with his wofe and so he grabbed both kids and jumped off the balcony and one of their kids died. The mother has made a stateemnt saying she holds no grudge againts the father and knows he is a loving caring father.

[Limassolean]

I think anyone who assaults women or children should be reported to the authorities immediately.

Personally i think he should be locked up in jail for a year or two.

Disgraceful.

My sincere condolences to the plane accident victim relatives!
[/b]

[reportfromcyprus]

I'll never forget the bruises and welts on my friend's face after her husband tried to kill her.

He had a major psychological problem and wasn't taking his pills. She managed to get out of the relationship, probably because she realised that it was either that or die by her own husband's hand.

Maybe your friend's husband has a similar problem? Manic depression, probably combined with a healthy dose of paranoia.

A lot of these men with aggression problems are suffering from depression and if they drink it turns into violence against the nearest person.

[andri_cy]

You are obviously a very caring person and you are a good friend for taking her in but you can't force her not to go back. I hope your daughter was not aroung witnessing any violence. I hope your friend realizes that he may end up killing her.

Thanks Tara I am not sure how caring I am. Like Anastacia said my friend needs support, but her husband hit me in front of my daughter and then my husband had to mandhandle him off the property. I cannot have my child witnessing that on a regular basis. She has been having nightmares since.

[rawk]

If someone hit my wife in front of me, he wouldn't be manhandled off the property!

He'd be being carried out in a stretcher!

Mind you, us Brits have a violent streak, as sadly seen in some of the threads on this BB.

Rawk

[Limassolean]

You are obviously a very caring person and you are a good friend for taking her in but you can't force her not to go back. I hope your daughter was not aroung witnessing any violence. I hope your friend realizes that he may end up killing her.

Thanks Tara I am not sure how caring I am. Like Anastacia said my friend needs support, but her husband hit me in front of my daughter and then my husband had to mandhandle him off the property. I cannot have my child witnessing that on a regular basis. She has been having nightmares since.

Well if someone hits my pussy (cat) i will kick him out from my property too.

But if he even tries to raise his arms on any member of my family i will literaly Kill him. full stop.

Your husband is too polite and too soft maybe. He should have at lieast kicked him in the guts and balls.

I really feel sorry for you andry-cy. i underatnd how you feel.

my advice ...just space them out of your life both. they deserve each other

limassolean

[Kikapu]

Andri_cy,

You have been getting a lot of advice as how to deal with your situation, so here's mine. First of all, your husband deserves a lot of credit for not losing his cool, and "kill" the bastard that hit you, as suggested by some members. He would have ended up in jail and sued for everything you got, in the great American Justice System. That would have left you and your child in much worse situation.

As for the wife who got beat up and sought shelter in your home for 2 days, does not deserve your friendship any longer. If it wasn't bad enough that her bastard husband would slap you for defending her, that she would turn around and virtually kick you as well, if you pressed charges against the bastard husband, by telling you, that her friendship would end with you, if you did. I'll would tell her, "don't let the door hit you in the ass, on the way out, BITCH". What nerve, to try for you to corrupt your moral values by not wanting to do the right thing, by pressing assault charges against the bastard husband. If she was a friend, she should have been leading the way herself. If you let her get close to you again, all you be doing is dealing with their problems, day in day out. She knows where all the Social Services are, for her protection, if she needs them. They are all in the first few pages of the phone book. You can't help her, she needs professionals in "Domestic Abuse" to help her.

Now for the bastard husband. There are a lot of crazy people that live in the States. Yes, more than any other country, in my view. It will serve you no purpose to have this bastard to become your "long term enemy", so when you meet with the prosecuting State attorney, it might be wise to suggest to offer a "plea bargain" for the bastard to seek "professional help" for himself, mandated by the court, so he will have no choice but to go to the "meetings", rather than put him in jail for few months, where he will be more bitter when he comes out than when he went in. This way, he will get some help, which would also help the wife and kids, if they have any, and he won't lose his job either. It might not be the justice you want for what he did to you, but it might be a wise one.

All the best.