Cyprus-Forum.com

[miltiades]

UNIQUE_EARTHING WROTE:
""And you say things are changing..so why has it taken the rest of europe to make them see they are so backward in their lack of care for another human being????""

Allow me to disagree vehemently with your biased views formed on the basis of your intense dislike of Cypriots , a fact that any one can following your posts can see. "" BACKWARD IN THEIR LACK OF CARE FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING " MY FOOT !! Been in UK a Hospital recently ??? Are you perhaps comparing the high level of care afforted to single mothers in the UK , or perhaps the homeless sleeping rough in Londons west end.

Absolute biased views from what sounds like an extremely frustrated female who has clouded her judgement by her determined prejudicial ill formed views.
It appears to me that , apart from the animal world , you have not interacted with any locals since you consider most of them backward.

[andri_cy]

And you say things are changing..so why has it taken the rest of europe to make them see they are so backward in their lack of care for another human being????

It is amazing to me that you keep living in a place where you dislike the loacals so much. Has it even crossed your mind that people dont care about you because your attitude towards them is so obvious that it is pushing them react in a way that you dont like? In the whole time I have been a forum member I have read your posts and all I see is a woman who is unhappy where she is, will not do anything to change it and blames the locals for it. I am not saying there are not things that are bad in Cyprus, but in every post all you have to say is how much it sucks. if it sucks that bad, go back to the UK. If you cant do that because you sold everything and have no way of going back, then you made a bad decision you have to live with and you need to take responsibility for it. If you are stuck living in Cyprus, showing some respect to the people that surround you will go a long way.

[TaraT]

More disturbing is that most rapes are not reported. For this one rape reported, there were probably three others that were not reported.

What a woman wears or how much she drinks is not an invitation to men and it should not matter. But the reality is that they do matter. A woman's behavior, dress, whether she drinks, smokes, does drugs, how many people she's slept with ALWAYS comes up in rape cases. But you never hear of rapists previous criminal activities if there are or if there are any previous rape allegations against him. This is not fair but it is reality. Because of the reality, women must be careful but younger women who like to party and just want to flirt and have fun are most at risk because they are out there and visible. They do not think about danger or voilence or that they may get hurt until it's too late.

[andri_cy]

Of course it is not an excuse. The woman's character should not be in question. If a prostitute gets raped, it is still rape if she didnt consent. The whole tarnish the victim bullshit really gets on my nerves. But GG is right, I know from personal experience that most rapes are date rapes; it comes when you dont expect it and then something keeps you from reporting it. Maybe it is the fact that you were out with the person to begin with. Maybe it is fear that they WILL try to make you look like a whore so that they can excuse the rapist. Maybe you are afraid people will think you were asking for it. You do not want to get raped again in court. The second time is worse than the first just because lawyers try to make it look like it was your fault. But at the end of the day, I believe reporting it frees you and helps you go forward.

[GG]

One thing I am undecided on is this....

Are there degrees of rape or is all rape the same.?

For example, is a man that meets a girl for a few dates and get to know eachother and she encourages to go back to his place for some naked cuddles and foreplay etc and basically she is wanting to do everything and stops just before actual sexual penetration, if the man proceeds against her will, is that man as evil as the man that hides in the bushes and jumps out and rapes the woman on her way back from Tesco's.

In some ways I think its the same crime just different situation but in others I think the planned pre-meditated one takes a far more evil person.

What do you think?

[andri_cy]

I think I agree with you to an extend. But not all date rapes involve women who wanted to do everything but penetration. A lot of them actually occur because the guy might have taken the girl out a few times but she wont do anything for some reason and he feels like since he has dined and wined her he is entitled. I think that kind of man is as bad or even more evil than the guy that who is hiding behind the bushes. You will ask, why? Simply because most of the time, even though you might not want to sleep with him, you feel safe with him because you have gone out a few times and you might feel you know him. That kind of seemingly non-dangerous next door guy is the worst kind, a force to be reckoned with.

[unique_earthling]

sorry Andri and miltiades if my experiences here have made you uncomfortable, but they are true experiences and observations, and you dont know what friends i have or dont want, and no i am not a lonely woman stuck in Cyprus and i have already told you why i am here and it is not for the people its for the sun and country.. Now if you dont like that then dont read my posts.. i dont have to like what people do nor do i have to pretend i am something i am not, i think you would be surprised what most people think here, and i also understand Cypriots are immature emotionally and that it takes time to grow, but at the end of the day i live with them and am in the system, and i dont have to like how many think and what many do. Is that clear?

[reportfromcyprus]

unique, you make a good point that society in general has to go through major changes in order to be educated and made aware of what is acceptable conduct.

If young men aren't shown that it is wrong to attack a woman physically and sexually, and that they will be punished for it, what hope is there that they'll change?

Women should be made aware that they need to be careful. I will always maintain that it's not a decent rapist's defense that the woman dressed or acted in a certain way.

What if the roles were reversed? There are cases where men are physically and sexually attacked by women. Should they be allowed to get away with it by saying that the men slept around and wore tight trousers?

[rulla]

ok i agree with everything said about raping that no matter what the circumstances a man has no right to to have sex without concent.but theres alot of girls out there who tease for fun ive seen them with my own eyes they think its great to wear hardly anything and have guys drulling over them and as soon as someone aproaches them they claim sexual harrassment
Mostly in Ayia Napa there seems to be a competition by girls who wears the less clothes is the best.
OK im going out for the evening my skirt is so short when i lift my arm you can see my knickers i have no bra on my top is nearly see through . Now why am i dressing like this do i want attention from the opposite sex obviously the answer is yes but when i get it will i like it or bitch about it you cant expect to go out dressed to kill and be ignored . see my point your dress and behaviour matters to what impresion your giving others and how others will treat you.

[bambina]

the girl that got raped in Kato Paphos almost two weeks ago is a very close friend, she was raped by two guys, she met this canadian cypriot (if he truly was)he called his self Michalis in a club as she was leaving to go get a taxi he walked with her to the sea front near KFC then he grabbed her hair and dragged her across the road to the beach it al happened so fast she didn't realise what was going on until she felt water going over her face, there where two other guys on the beach, what she doesn't know is if they were there anyway or were waiting for them, they weren't greek or english, and one kept calling her a white bitch while the other one was saying he was sorry, (yeah right, if he was that sorry he'd help right!)

Anyway, the police haven't been very helpful, they did pull one guy in for an ID'd but was nothing like the description the my friend gave, the brit high commission were informed but the police didn't give much info,
she had to contact them herself, the police hadn't even given them her name.

One of the police men even made a joke about what happened to her, he tried to cover himself by saying " this sort of thing happens all the time and we act like robots"

Yes our lovely island is changing, i just hope it doesn't get as bad as the rest of europe!

i hope she is getting better