Cyprus-Forum.com

[reportfromcyprus]

It's an interesting turn of phrase 'the right to be a victim', and quite de-personalising. That's a human being you're talking about, not a statistic

[andri_cy]

What about your self respect GG? You obviously disapprove yourself of the men who slept with this woman you knew and then didn't call her.

Don't you think that having sex with someone ranks as 'having a relationship'?

Or is it less important to you than shaking hands with someone, a sign of respect you'd pay to any acquaintance?

having sex with someone does not constitute a relationship. Relationships are not build on sex, sex is just part of them. People have one night stands all the time. That does not mean they are in relationships with the people they are having sex with. It means they are screwing them. We need to stop confusing sex with love and call it what it is. It is a pleasure-like good food is a pleasure and a good movie is pleasing, in a different category of course but in a similar way. Sex is a plus in a relationship it is not or should not be the center of it. If I have a husband who respects me, loves me, cares for me and his family then good sex with him is a binus not a must. If a gilr meets a guy at a club and he tells her outright that he is not looking for anything and she still wants to go home with him and have sex, he has made himself clear and she has no right to expect phone calls from him or to play the "used" victim. I would of course not expect him to throw her out right after or give her a 20$ but thats how it is. We women whine we want to be considered equal. Maybe we need to start acting like it. Just because some of us choose to have one sexual partner, it doesnt mean there arent some that rightfully want to experiment. That doesnt mean that they rightfully can demand the guy holds hands the next morning.

[reportfromcyprus]

andry_cy, I hear what you're saying, and agree that sex is part of a whole, not the whole itself.

Consenting adults have the right to do what they want in this affair.

My objection is to the gradual cheapening of sex to a status below that of a handshake, or even, holding hands. It's an urban myth that prostitutes won't kiss their customers on the lips, because it's too intimate, and that's what it reminds me of.

Any ritual in which a kiss or holding hands is eliminated because it's too personal or implies a relationship is clinical, empty. That's why I say that it's the man's self respect that's involved as well as the woman's. They are seeking a connection that is barren and easily discarded - replaceable. Not unique, and not special.

[GG]

Don't you think that having sex with someone ranks as 'having a relationship'?

What century are you living in?

There are kids out there as young as 16 having sex with different people every night. Times have changed, my personal opinion on it is irrelevant. Its real, its happening.

[reportfromcyprus]

I'm well aware of the times we live in. One thing that hasn't changed is that we all still struggle with moral choices and our consciences.

If I see this behaviour all around me, it doesn't mean I have to suspend my ability to choose whether I want to join in, or my right to an opinion on it that differs from the majority.

There are kids younger than 16 having sex; it doesn't mean they know what they're doing or that they feel good about it.

Our personal opinions do matter, unless we're just passive receptors for sensory input that we have no control over.

Personally I think we're more than that.

[MARIKKOU]

Don't you think that having sex with someone ranks as 'having a relationship'?

[color=darkred]What century are you living in?

Well my dear,

Yes you have a sexual relationship!

[reportfromcyprus]

Exactly, Marikkou, a sexual relationship, and last time I checked, that fell under the definition of relationship

Relationships, like anything in life, come in different qualities. If it's a disposable sexual relationship, that's like fast food (back to andry_cy's analogy) which has empty calories and is just plain bad for your health.

Good home cooking is much more interesting

[andri_cy]

When you sleep with someone once it isnt even a sexual relationship, it is a one night stand.
But, I agree with you that if it is so that we believe a woman has no self respect if she is sleeping around then it goes the same for the man.

[Mickleham]

the actual act of making love should be seen only as part of nature and should not be attached to any other connotations.


if andry feel like making love to reportfromcyprus for example she should be able to do that without any others judging them in any way.

[reportfromcyprus]

So you detach your actions from your ability to judge whether they will add or detract from the quality of your life? Removing our actions from their connotations or consequences is a limited reaction to life.

It reduces ourselves to basic instinct. And then people use it as an excuse to avoid thinking about our actions and the effect they have on ourselves and others.

Shallow, and not challenging enough for me. Everyone's different, and vive la difference, I say.