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WHY do blondes take the Pill? So they can keep track of what day it is.



Did you hear about the blonde who got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months. The box said two to four years.



What would you get if you offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts? Change.



How do blonde brain cells die? Alone.



What’s the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.


How do you get a blonde’s eyes to twinkle?
Shine a torch in her ears.


Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them.


A woman sees her blonde neighbour crying and goes over to ask her what the problem is.

The blonde says her mother has passed away.

The neighbour makes her coffee and calms her down before leaving. The next day the neighbour sees the blonde crying again and once more goes over and asks what the problem is.

The blonde tells her: “I just got off of the telephone to my sister . . . her mother has died too!”



Why do blondes leave empty milk cartons in the fridge?
In case someone wants black coffee.



How do you know when a blonde has been using a computer?
There is white correction fluid on the screen.



What do you call a blonde who has died her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.



Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton?
Because it said concentrate on the label.



A blonde and a brunette were walking down the road and fell off a cliff. Who hit the ground first?
The brunette, the blonde had to ask for directions.



How do you make a blonde laugh on Thursday?
Tell her a joke on Tuesday.



What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? I wonder if it’s mine.



A ventriloquist is playing a gig in a club with his dummy telling blonde jokes.

Suddenly a blonde in the front row stands up and says: “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.
What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?

“What does the colour of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination, all in the name of humour!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologise when the blonde yells: “You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”