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[Snad]

A father entered his daughter's bedroom and saw a letter on the bed.
With the worst premonition, he read it with trembling hands.

Dear Mum and Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've
eloped with my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice,
especially with all his piercings, scars, tattoos and, of course, his great, big
motorcycle. But it's not only that, I'm pregnant, and Ahmed said that
we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many
more children with me and that's one of my dreams. I've learned that
marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends.
They're the ones providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever> want.

In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure, so
Ahmed gets better. He deserves it. Don't worry about money. Ahmed has
arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their
basement. Apparently I can earn £50 a scene. I get a £50 bonus if there are more than three men in the scene, and an extra £100 if they use the horse.

Don't worry Mum. Now I'm 15 years old, I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,> >
Aimee

P.S.

Dad, it's not true. I'm watching TV at a neighbour's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than
ENGLAND LOSING ON PENALTIES AGAIN!!


Oh how true!!!!!

[Radio]

Wasn't there a version of this on here recently, where the son left the note because there were worse things than his school report ?.