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[Debbie]

· A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
· My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
· I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
· Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
· I used to have a handle on life, but it broke
· Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
· Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
· Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
· I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
· Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
· God must love stupid people; He made so many.
· The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
· Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
· Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
· Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
· Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
· I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
· They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
· He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
· A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
· Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
· I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

[Mills Chapman]

I found the one about the chicken and the pig to be quite thought-provoking. I did have a slice of ham over the weekends ("Sorry, Miss Piggy."), but I mostly stick to eggs!