Cyprus-Forum.com

[unique_earthling]

i have noticed on here many arguements, and not just points of view, but absolutes. The need to be right and unswerving thought patterns that are stuck in closed thinking. This is a quiz, are you egocentric?

http://home.earthlink.net/~bmgei/educat ... o-quiz.htm

[reportfromcyprus]

I like your observation unique_earthling. I'm reading a good book called Everything is Negotiable. The author characterises stubborn negotiators (those who will leave the table and refuse to return because they didn't get their own way) as Donkeys.

They refuse to be flexible or yield.

The philosopher Nietsche had a theory that if you push hard enough in one direction, the pendulum inevitably swings the other way.

Perhaps absolutists tend to achieve their opposite intention, like when you used to play on the seesaw and pushed down so hard and fast on your seat that the other side flew up in the air with the momentum.

To answer your question, I don't think I'm egocentric because I believe in balances of power and opinion. Does the universe tend towards balance? In the long run, yes, and chaos is an instrument of balance.

Oh dear, you got me philosophising again. I'll shut up now

[unique_earthling]

Thanks for your reply though it wasnt a rhetorical question, just to give people something to think about. I am also something of a philosopher but my major was in counselling psychology.

Friedrich Nietzsch also said

"All beings hitherto have created something beyond themselves: and ye want to be the ebb of that great tide, and would rather go back to the beast than surpass man?
What is the ape to man? A laughing-stock, a thing of shame. And just the same shall man be to the Superman: a laughing-stock, a thing of shame.
Ye have made your way from the worm to man, and much within you is still worm. Once were ye apes, and even yet man is more of an ape than any of the apes. "

Socrates amongst others was another great philosopher that believed in balance being the key to emotional well being, and being true to oneself.

[reportfromcyprus]

He is my favourite philosopher, I think because he was so ready to allow flexibility in his approach to discussions. I admire the strict logicians but they date themselves so quickly.

Descartes as well was quite flexible.

What does counselling psychology involve? It sounds interesting, I've always enjoyed reading about psychology in various articles and books.

[unique_earthling]

Counselling Psychology is psychological theories put into practice, and when qualified to then take someone else on the same journey of change in thinking, and subsequently changing what they do and say. in other words i am a therapist and eclectic which means i will use something from trusted and proven theory which will move someone forward in there self and life if they have a desire to change.

[reportfromcyprus]

Unique_earthling, in your opinion, when should someone change?

For example, in the case that someone is egocentric, how would they know whether it's time to change?

You have mentioned taking someone on a journey. Are there signposts that direct the traveller to change?

[unique_earthling]

i think people feel the need to change when they realise that their lives are not working for them, many dont, they have not reached the place where they see themselves as the problem. Many look outside of themselves, blaming others, bad luck and not taking personal responsibility for their lives.

Egocentrics may or may not at some point in their lives see the way they are is not getting them what they want. Children are egocentric and have to be taught how to think outside of their needs and wants, and to consider their actions and words and how they may affect others. That they are not the meaning of the universe. And so it is with many adults, who havent learnt the skill of thinking and feeling outside of them selves, being empathic to how they affect others.

The journey can begin when others are open to change, a therapist offers a climate, of time, peace, self exploration and facillitates change, by appropriately challenging and helping them to see different perspectives.
the main facilitator is the building of trust so they can feel able to be themselves and work through their defense mechanisms and cognitive assumptions believes and preconditioning.

Of course this is over simplified, but i have seen amazing changes in people who have worked hard to do so.

[andri_cy]

i have noticed on here many arguements, and not just points of view, but absolutes. The need to be right and unswerving thought patterns that are stuck in closed thinking. This is a quiz, are you egocentric?

http://home.earthlink.net/~bmgei/educat ... o-quiz.htm

I am somewhere in the middle with room for improvement