Cyprus-Forum.com

[malaka]

I think it is because you have made him think and he might be bothered by it but he agrees with you a bit. Maybe give him some time to think about everything you said. And I have to congratulate you malaka because you have got your point across without lowering yourself with cursing and name calling. Maybe people just need to hear youe story in detail.

Thanks Andri

The only reason I resorted to swearing etc was because I was angry and frustrated as we previously spoke about.

[StuartN]

And Malaka, when you are able to share your story with us, could you post it as a separate thread please? - just so it doesn't get lost in the general melange of conversation? ( perhaps 'Malakas Story')

Thanks

[cypezokyli]

there is this old thread :
http://www.cyprus-forum.com/viewtopic.php?t=4345

you can read a couple more stories of forum members...then ofcource it gets into another duel that has nothing to do with the original topic , but imo , the first page is worth reading.

[kalahari]

Hi malaka

The reason I did not respond to your question, vis:

Tell me how would you feel honestly if the IRA forced you out of your house and country killed familly members then brought over all the Irish

...is because I thought it was rhetorical. I wasn't trying to duck the issue, I promise you. Your question made me think, and I have been instead trying to find out more of the truth of what happened (see my topic: Kissinger etc.)

I will respond to your question in time, but answering it honestly is going to be almost impossible, as I kno so little about what you actually suffered. It's easy to ask big questions like that, but without having the detail, the human aspect, it's very hard to get a handle on what it really means. It would be like me asking you, "How do you think you'd feel if a sports car landed on your head and scraped half the skin off?" You could answer in sweeping terms, guessing what that might feel like, but there's no way you could know the prolonged trauma and recovery that takes place. Now I'm not likening your ordeal to a simple road accident, but I am trying to illustrate my point.

As I said before, I found your answer thought provoking, and I think Andri is right to congratulate you:

And I have to congratulate you malaka because you have got your point across without lowering yourself with cursing and name calling. Maybe people just need to hear youe story in detail.

It's kind of what I've been going on about in most of my previous messages to you.

I promise I will respond to your question when I have time.

Kind regards,

Kal

[andri_cy]

It is refreshing to see someone saying "you have suffered and no matter how hard I try I will never really grasped the pain and suffering you went through. Thanks Kalahari.

[kalahari]

Well yes, Andri - you're right, that is what I'm saying. Which is precisely why I would consider it a real privilege to have malaka invest his time in writing his story down in human terms, with deatil that we can all associate with, so that we can begin to understand better.

[andri_cy]

I cant wait.

[kalahari]

Hi guys

I promised my friend Malaka that I would respond to his question, vis:

Tell me how would you feel honestly if the IRA forced you out of your house and country killed familly members then brought over all the Irish

I have thought long and hard about this. My answer comes in two parts.

1) I would feel horrified, but I would gather up my remaining family members as quickly and as inconspicuously as I could and I would flee to wherever I could find sanctuary. When in my new home I would attempt to rebuild my life as swiftly and strongly as I could. I would seek all news possible of any family members I did not know the fate of, and would try my best to help any family members who had not fared as well as I had. I would try my very best to integrate my family into the new society I found myself in, and to avoid confrontation with any more right wing members of that society. I would cut my losses and start again. This is my honest answer, as an Englishman who has had to build himself up from nothing I know what it is like and I know I could do it again. The important thing is to be strong as a family. Would I feel angry and resentful at the Irish? Yes I would, but I would try to not let it devour me. There are many times in my lfe when I have hated people for the injustice that they have imposed upon me, but I have learned that you must let go as soon as possible. That doesn't stop me swearing at them when I am reminded of what they did, or resolving to punch their lights out if ever I saw them again. But that is simply the cathartic talk of somebody who is trying to move on and put the past behind them.

2) The other truth is this: despite trying to get inside your condition, when your question supplies me with so little information I cannot begin to understand what actually happened to you or how it affected your day to day life. If you want me to understand, you must tell me, as I have previously asked, in detail. I would truly love to know your story. You don't have to tell me of course, but then you will have an obligation to be more understanding of my ignorance in future. How would I feel if ne of my daughters or my wife was killed by a soldier. It would be as if my heart had been torm out of my body, with no chance of the pain ever going away. I would be torn apart by grief – this I am sure of. No amount of anger and no action by those responsible would ever, ever make it better. Not even if the army if occupation left and returned my property to me. And even if they did, I am almost certain that I could never return.

I look forward to hearing your story, my friend.

Kindest regards,
kalahari

[malaka]

Hi guys

I promised my friend Malaka that I would respond to his question, vis:

Tell me how would you feel honestly if the IRA forced you out of your house and country killed familly members then brought over all the Irish

I have thought long and hard about this. My answer comes in two parts.

1) I would feel horrified, but I would gather up my remaining family members as quickly and as inconspicuously as I could and I would flee to wherever I could find sanctuary. When in my new home I would attempt to rebuild my life as swiftly and strongly as I could. I would seek all news possible of any family members I did not know the fate of, and would try my best to help any family members who had not fared as well as I had. I would try my very best to integrate my family into the new society I found myself in, and to avoid confrontation with any more right wing members of that society. I would cut my losses and start again. This is my honest answer, as an Englishman who has had to build himself up from nothing I know what it is like and I know I could do it again. The important thing is to be strong as a family. Would I feel angry and resentful at the Irish? Yes I would, but I would try to not let it devour me. There are many times in my lfe when I have hated people for the injustice that they have imposed upon me, but I have learned that you must let go as soon as possible. That doesn't stop me swearing at them when I am reminded of what they did, or resolving to punch their lights out if ever I saw them again. But that is simply the cathartic talk of somebody who is trying to move on and put the past behind them.

2) The other truth is this: despite trying to get inside your condition, when your question supplies me with so little information I cannot begin to understand what actually happened to you or how it affected your day to day life. If you want me to understand, you must tell me, as I have previously asked, in detail. I would truly love to know your story. You don't have to tell me of course, but then you will have an obligation to be more understanding of my ignorance in future. How would I feel if ne of my daughters or my wife was killed by a soldier. It would be as if my heart had been torm out of my body, with no chance of the pain ever going away. I would be torn apart by grief – this I am sure of. No amount of anger and no action by those responsible would ever, ever make it better. Not even if the army if occupation left and returned my property to me. And even if they did, I am almost certain that I could never return.

I look forward to hearing your story, my friend.

Kindest regards,
kalahari

Well the above response to me is a natural one and thank you for answering.
I feel exactly the same way.

You forgott to answer the last bit.

What if they wanted to negotiate with you (lets assume no one has been killed) We want to be part of the UK (ie the EU) but you cant have your house back because settlers now live in it.

[malaka]

It is refreshing to see someone saying "you have suffered and no matter how hard I try I will never really grasped the pain and suffering you went through. Thanks Kalahari.

Well said Andri