Cyprus-Forum.com

[Niki]

Makes me very proud to be British Because...

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have 'call waiting' so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION........

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

9 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolates.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Christmas cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

8 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

And finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Enjoy

Niki

[reeshahn]

same things also happen in Turkey

[Supertrotter]

Makes me proud to be British!

And even more sure of leaving!

[Snad]

Great! people have actually cottoned on to what a crap country Britain really is

[Dadalushe]

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.


Hence the Brit system of a "Porcelain Telephone". Toilet and sink are close together so you can sit on one and be sick into the other. Which one you sit on is a matter of personal preference!

[dms007]

is there not even one good reason to make people stay in UK?

[Dadalushe]

Not that I can think of - no!

[Niki]

Oh I don't know - Tony Blaire (Tiny Blur as my kids call him) is such a sweetie don't you think???

[littlemiss]

nope its official then no one should live in the uk, other than the politicians who have ruined it for everyone else. Do you think they realise how peed off and miserable their citizens are with the place? or do they truely think they are making it better for everyone? I would love to get inside their heads for one day wouldnt you?

[miltiades]

We have become a nation of traffic wardens , or high way robbers to use the correct word , appeasers to foreign and weird cultures that the politicians insist that it is good for us , embarrassed to show off our Britishness , too afraid to speak the truth in case we upset sections of foreigners who are happy to be here bettering them selves but object to our way of life. poor bastards . ( THEY KNOW WHAT TO DO )
Have you also noticed that even the TV companies are out to con you with 09 numbers for everything. You cant get a plumber a builder an electrician unless you know him (house of horrors )
The natives are sick to the teeth with this but by nature they do not complain , not yet any way.
Can I just say that when in 1961 I left Cyprus to come here , I knew exactly where I was going to , I knew it was England , I knew I had to learn English and also new that England was and still is England , not bloody Englanstan.