Cyprus-Forum.com

[pumpernickle]

That's the cyprus problem of course, and I unfold my special plan of a Cypriot Olympics. How velly GLICK!

why not go the lower class route in finding a way out of this maze...

the winners of the following contests ( turn it into a kind of Pikey / Peasant Olympics!! so ironic...) get to lay formal, legitimate claim over the whole Island of Cyprus:

1) Keo / Efes drinking. children and men, elected from villages, take your chairs! You have to down as much of your local hop juice as possible within the time slot of one hour. The person who is last to give up / collapse / die / spew their bile out, wins.

2) Pie eating contest. A classic in Britain, a ritual elsewhere. Spinach pie for the greeks, and dog pie for the turks. Once again, as much as possible before the hour glass runs out. I suggest chosing the fattest most gorged people either side of the green line for this one. Which is not much of a challenge. That's Mr Denktash for the Turks, and anyone in Paphos for the bubble and squeaks....so it could be an englishman.

3) Road Kill! - count the body bags at the end of a week, and the side with the most deaths due to carelessness / DUI or illegality wins. Another close call of course. With so many piss poor drivers, and so few camcorders, it will be hard to prove, but we'll get everyone out on the day with their Kodaks (Kojaks?) to collect evidence for the judges.

4) Pot holes - not food. The caverns that occur in the roads. Count em, tally them, the highest wins. This one could be a winner for the Turks. Which is somewhat of a damning indictment I'm sure you'll agree.

5) Brain Drain! This competition involves collecting all the books on either side. Each family has to trawl through his or her collection, count them, and submit the totals to the judges. The side with the highest number of books wins.
I think I have a 'Baby Steps Abacus' in my loft, that will do for the count.
Either that, or you could use the fingers belonging to both of my hands.

I could go on....Gurning, Spitting, Hurling, Spewing, Cabareting, scamming, swearing, horn beeping etc etc, but I want to keep this Cypriot Olympics traditional.

views welcome.

[pumpernickle]

32 views on my thread.

must have wound up at least 6 of 'em

Woooo HEEEE! ha ha ha ha ha!

come on guys, spill yer guts.