The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store manager apologized profusely and promised the bird wouldn't say it again.
The next day, when the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused, scowled with an icy and deadly stare, and said with a hoarse voice, "Yes?"
The bird, strutting back and forth on its perch in a cocky manner, said, "You know."
THIS GUYS DRIVES UP TO THIS STORE TO GET SOME MILK. KNOWING HE WON'T BE IN LONG HE LEAVES THE TRUCK RUNNING. THERE IS A OLD MAN SITTING OUTSIDE THE STORE AND HE TELLS HIM TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIS TRUCK. THE OLD MAN SAYS SURE.
WELL THE GUY COMES BACK OUT AND HIS TRUCK IS GONE.
"HEY DID YOU SEE WHO STOLE MY TRUCK" HE ASKS THE OLD MAN.
THE OLD MAN LOOKS AT HIM AND ANSWERS,"NO I DIDN'T SEE WHO TOOK IT. BUT I DID GET THE LICENSE PLATE NUMBER."
A day off
A father came home and found his three children were
outside, still in
their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food
boxes
and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front
door to the house
and
there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger
mess. A lamp had
been
knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one
wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon
, and the family
room
was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food
was spilled on
the
counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was
spilled on the
floor,a
broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of
sand was spread
by
the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys
and more piles of
clothes,
looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill,
or that something
serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle
of water as it
made
its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he
found wet
towels,
scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor.
Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had
been smeared
over
the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he
found his wife
still
curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.
She looked up at
him,
smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her
bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day
when you come home
from
work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
