, and since I have no one else to speak them to, I decided to post it here.
The thought came from "Visvanath", a fat Hare Krishna, a loser yet proud and self-centered, low-income, poorly educated Fijian who I knew several years ago when I lived in Fiji. Visvanath refered to my friend Mike, someone who Visvanath has never even met. He said, "My friend Mike (a cool, highly educated, professional lawyer friend of mine) says to be cool and not complain about the fat, monstrous balloon-size female that was deceptively forced on me."
It was an obvious trick, because if I were to listen to my friend Mike as Visvanath quotes him, then I would be tricked into a horrendously ugly female who I wouldn't even consider going near to! Something is wrong here, because Mike would never trick me like that.
That reminded me about Mike's friendship, and how he would reasure me with confidence. But this time it stabbed me like a knife in my heart. "A fat, monstrous balloon-size female"? Mike's reassurance applied to normal females, but this time it was an evil trick of Visvanath to replace that with a "fat, monstrous balloon-size female" and apply Mike's reassurance nonetheless! It was utterly demoniac, as if to attempt to deceptively fool me into thinking I am cool with Mike, but actually being the biggest loser because the female in this example was so monstrously sized.
And it stabbed my heart even further when it occured to me that the thought made no mention, nay it completely and utterly ignored the true honest past history, the success that I have had with my girlfriend Linda. If these thoughts can enter my head so readily, then why can't they admit and include truthful events from the past like my success with Linda? When I reflected for a second, Visvanath's thought was utter bullshit! I tried to defend myself by thinking, "Get this monstrous balloon insult out of my head, I have nothing to do with it. My girlfriend Linda accepted my marriage proposal, complimented me highly and lived with me for 2 years. You completely ignored her in your insulting thought, and yet she was exquisitely beautiful, far better than anyone Visvanath could even approach. That proves the level of my success and your horrendous unfairness with this monstrous balloon female!"
I know that my past is filled with the beautiful and successful relationship I had with Linda. I am single right now until I regain health from a temporary illness, and I am doing so using only honey and royal jelly. It is a holistic approach -- no medicine -- and I like it because there are no side effects. So that is why I am single right now. But how in the world does Visvanath get the power, the occult strength, the right, to barge uninvited and intrudingly into my head with this horendous thought of a monstrous, fat, balloon-sized female and insult me with it misusing my friend Mike on top of it all? If he uses occult power to do it, then how does he get away with the injustice? Why does no one defend the truth of my success? Linda herself was psychic and would defend me, while we were together. So why does no one defend me now? I feel utterly helpless, alone, and I have no psychic power whatsoever to defend myself! Yet, I swear to God that my past history is filled with the beautiful success of my girlfriend Linda, so how in the hell does Visvanath completely ignore that and barge into my head with such bullshit?
It is clear that justice is not being served here, and a great wrong is committed when Visvanath enters my head. It is clearly unfair, and that is why I have titled this "Unfair Thoughts". If anyone can stop Visvanath and defend the true honest justice of my success with Linda, as well as other females when I meet them in the future, that would be greatly appreciated.
Victor Epand (the name given to me by my parents)
Vrindavan dasa (the name given to me by Hare Krishnas)
). He doesnt want her anymore and he wants a divorce, but he can't get it. So he is becoming out of his mind... Nah, its quite normal for me!!!
