Serious guys, a harsh suggestion, but why not just agree to the next unification deal regardless of how rubbish the terms, and when the island is one.....hop north and BUY OUT THE TURK CYPS!
Purchasing power. Always a winner.
Then once you have bought every last asset there is up there, you can swing through the towns in pick up trucks, playing Led Zeppelin's "The Immigrant Song" on full power through loud speakers....
AAAHGHHH AAAAAAGHHH YYNNEEAAARGHHH!!
NAAA NAA GGAARARRAAA NEEEYTAAAAR!!
I come from the land of the ice and snow....
....hammer of the gods...