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[Get Real!]

Teacher: “Bede mou mian lexin bou do alpha…”

Kid #1: “Afgon kiria!”

Teacher: “Bravo baidi mou… mian lexin bou do vita?”

Teacher: “Ohi essi Bombo…”

Kid #2: “Vivlion kiria…”

Teacher: “Bravo! Mian lexin bou do gamma?”

Teacher: “Ade, bes mas esi Bombo alla oi na bis kamian bellara…”

Bombos: “Giorkos kiria!”

Teacher: “Yiassou re Bombo… edo bou da kataferes!”

Bombos: “En Giorkos kiria alla… eshi mian villan obos dou garou!”

[Get Real!]

(English class)

Teacher: “Bede mou mian lexin bou na beriehi to “guarantee”…

Kid #1: “Bou enna bao spidin mou… guarantee oi mamma mou enna kami badadoues na famen!”

Teacher: “Bravo baidi mou… allos?”

Kid #2: “Tin kyriaki guarantee enna bamen oulli eklissia!”

Teacher: “Bravo! Akoma enna…”

Bombos: “Kiria… da skata en koutrouvoui?”

Teacher: “Oi”

Bombos: “E… guarantee eshessa!”

[Get Real!]

Bombos was given a 5 pound note by his dad to go buy fish from the local municipal market downtown Nicosia.

He bought the fish and on the way back he took a shortcut through Soutzou Street (old red light district) to marvel at the pretty girls, when one of the hookers called him over…

Hooker: “Bombo, if you can point to my pussy you get to have me for free but if you fail I take the fish!”

Bombos: “That’s an easy one… it’s right there!” …said a confident Bombos while pointing between her legs.

Hooker: “Nope, it’s under here!” …said the hooker, as she bent over 90 degrees and pointed to her pussy from the back!

Bombos: “Damn!” ...cried Bombos, as he handed the fish over to the hooker.

An embarrassed Bombos went home and explained to his dad that the wind had blown the 5 pound note out of his hand and an angry dad gave him another this time making sure it was firmly secured in his pocket.

So after a brief visit to the market Bombos thought he’d try his luck again in Soutzou Street and came across the same hooker leaning on her doorway.

Bombos: “If I show you where your pussy is do I have you for free?”

Hooker: “Sure you can!” ...said the hooker as she bent over 90 degrees.

Bombos: “It’s right behind there…I can see it!” …said an excited Bombos!

At once the hooker straightened up, lifted up her skirt and said…

Hooker: “Sorry Bombos, it’s right here in the front… you lose!” ...grabbing the fish from his hands.

Bombos: “Damn!” …cried Bombos!

So off he went home again empty handed and really upset…

Dad: “Hoi, where’s the bloody fish?” …dad shouted.

Bombos: “Dad, unless the pussy stabilizes itself we ain’t eating fish today!”