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The Newest Medications for Women

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The Newest Medications for Women

Postby Leonidas » Sun Dec 25, 2005 6:11 am

D A M I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

ST. M O M 'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious
for up to six hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you could not wait until they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

D U M E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

B U Y- A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

BUY-ONE-AL (Extra Strength)
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying
frenzy so severe! the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD.


J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your
birthday, anniversary or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

S E X C E D R I N
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a
headache," syndrome.

R A G A M E T
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
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Leonidas
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