by repulsewarrior » Fri Mar 06, 2015 1:15 am
Pardon me, fortunately my feelings don't get easily hurt, i am not here to make simple conversation, or friends, although i am grateful that i feel i've made some, but Cyprus.
...indeed, i am an outsider looking in. Except for my family what do i have, in Cyprus? I dream, someday, that i can spend my days enjoying something of the trees and water i knew so well, the gentle wind, fields of golden wheat under the setting sun, under the stars, the smells i will never forget, yes, even the sounds of the city (which was Varosha, for me). I would have liked to have known them better, too bad for me.
I had a home, and now i live in houses, i love Cyprus, i don't think you do as much, you live in it, i ask myself if you live it. Indeed, i would not sit at your table, for my feelings of unworthiness, not by your judgement, but my own. With my grief, i am damaged goods as is said, like a rape victim i feel shame, a broken man, if i sit at someone else's table it is very rare, why would i, what do i have to talk about?
...i would still invite you to my table, if such a day would come, even though i know now your feelings toward me (a bit more clearly), not for your sake, or mine, worthy, or unworthy, but to celebrate that day in a Cyprus Free. If you did not join the rest of us by your own choice out of this joy, i say that would be telling.