Cyprus-Forum.com

[GreekIslandGirl]

Paphitis, I am aware of a lot of your issues. Are you ready for closure and moving on?

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."

[Paphitis]

It's a bit of an old chestnut wherever you are from. It's the same in the UK.

A sad tale when its personal to you and your family.

Mum never did get over her father remarrying. First at the tender age of 18, she lost her own mother to cancer. There was this lady 'always in the wings waiting', her father and 'that woman' married and moved from whst was the family home. Her father died, suddenly and unusually. 'That woman' sold the house as soon as she was able and wiped everything out of my mother's life that was her fathers.
The story of my other half is quite sad and tragic. A most magnificent soap opera.
Both mother, and my other half have a bitter taste, siblings who do not speak, great big holes left by other people. I was young when my mother lost her father, old enough to remember.


One thing it has taught me, you cannot undo what has been done. What is lost is lost. Tell the happier tales to the young, and keep the bitter stories for when the kids are adult enough to understand the 'family myths'. When questions are asked by the children when they are older, firstly happier times are recollected, and you find the bitter memories have been given time to heal, and passing them on isn't quite so difficult to explain anymore.

Very nice post Flying Horse!

I mentioned the Domestic Violence above. I wish to expand.

This is something I did not see from my Uncle like ever.

I knew things were not going well with his first wife and as a young kid I could understand him. She was well, very difficult to get along with but not a bad person.

My uncle was not happy with her and it took him 8 years to divorce in those days because the Church would not approve them that easily.

He was happy with his second wife Ioanna and it was during this period I got to know my uncle.

Sadly she succumbed to Cancer...

[Paphitis]

Paphitis, I am aware of a lot of your issues. Are you ready for closure and moving on?

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."

That is very stoic. I read a very tiny amount of Zeno of Kitium but my knowledge is limited unfortunately, compared probably to you.

In your inner circle there are things you can change and beyond that things are beyond your control. Spend more time with things you can control and less time on things you can't (or spend no time at all).

I have moved on. It certainly does not dominate my life but I still do think about it.

[Flying Horse]

What you are faced with is possibly the reasoning behind what this lady may have had to deal with in your uncles last years.

An ill person of this nature can be extremely frustrated with what they have become and with that there is anger and sometimes violence(which is not meant in the way we would think), in turn the spouse also has actions like this. It is a very sad thing to witness.
Although you know they argued and fought. It may not be because they were ill matched, it may have been because this lady had a lot to bear. You only see from the outside looking in.

This is one of those things, that needs time to heal and get your head round.

As for cancer. It is vile. It took both my other halves parents. That's a very tragic tale, and one almost unbelievable. I shall keep that for another time.

[B25]

The serious issue is why so many ageing men revert to so much stupidity that ruins family life. It is becoming so common that we must legislate to protect families from the madness of ageing men!

If the (real) mother dies, the father should be disinherited and the territorial/property rights given to the children. Then, let's see how many opportunistic foreign women decide to marry them!

Under cyrus law of succession one cannot disinherite his kids. He can only will 25% of his possissions, the rest gets equal share to kids and spouse.
If he died intestate, it'll be the lot, although i beleive his wife is eligible for his personal possession.

Problem with aging cypriot men, they cannot control their 'villo' their wives body bare cools down before they are marrying young tarts mainly eastern european, russian or asian. And then they think they are desired all the while the tart is eyeing their money.

[Paphitis]

The serious issue is why so many ageing men revert to so much stupidity that ruins family life. It is becoming so common that we must legislate to protect families from the madness of ageing men!

If the (real) mother dies, the father should be disinherited and the territorial/property rights given to the children. Then, let's see how many opportunistic foreign women decide to marry them!

Under cyrus law of succession one cannot disinherite his kids. He can only will 25% of his possissions, the rest gets equal share to kids and spouse.
If he died intestate, the itll be the lot although i beleive his wife is eligible for his personal possession.

Problem with aging cypriot men, they cannot control their 'villo' their wives bidy bare cool down before they are marrying young tarts mainly eastern european, russian or asian. And then they think they are desired all the whike the tart is eyeing their money.

The silly thing is that he did not prepare a will.

He was an intelligent man but I really can't comprehend not preparing a will. But in any case, I think by law he could will up to 50% but I can't remember. I do recall getting legal advice at the time but I can't remember the fine details.

Also, it was a bit of a relief that I could not go further. Really hate things like this.

But I agree that sometimes older men are taken advantage of when they are most vulnerable. If only the Authorities can clamp down on this somehow because there are a lot of young ladies in Cyprus from places like Russia, Sri Lanka and Philippines. While most will not do anything like this, some unfortunately do and these things do occur in Cyprus a lot more than elsewhere because there are so many foreign workers in a small population who will try to get RoC citizenship first through marriage and then leading onto using the elderly male for money and more.

[Flying Horse]

The serious issue is why so many ageing men revert to so much stupidity that ruins family life. It is becoming so common that we must legislate to protect families from the madness of ageing men!

If the (real) mother dies, the father should be disinherited and the territorial/property rights given to the children. Then, let's see how many opportunistic foreign women decide to marry them!

Under cyrus law of succession one cannot disinherite his kids. He can only will 25% of his possissions, the rest gets equal share to kids and spouse.
If he died intestate, the itll be the lot although i beleive his wife is eligible for his personal possession.

Problem with aging cypriot men, they cannot control their 'villo' their wives bidy bare cool down before they are marrying young tarts mainly eastern european, russian or asian. And then they think they are desired all the whike the tart is eyeing their money.

The silly thing is that he did not prepare a will.

He was an intelligent man but I really can't comprehend not preparing a will. But in any case, I think by law he could will up to 50% but I can't remember. I do recall getting legal advice at the time but I can't remember the fine details.

Also, it was a bit of a relief that I could not go further. Really hate things like this.

But I agree that sometimes older men are taken advantage of when they are most vulnerable. If only the Authorities can clamp down on this somehow because there are a lot of young ladies in Cyprus from places like Russia, Sri Lanka and Philippines. While most will not do anything like this, some unfortunately do and these things do occur in Cyprus a lot more than elsewhere because there are so many foreign workers in a small population who will try to get RoC citizenship first through marriage and then leading onto using the elderly male for money and more.

Young women entering a relationship with a far older man, in any nation, is only looking at the 'dollar signs'. I honestly don't see it any more peculiar in Cyprus. I'm always quite cynical of these types of relationship.


As an aside. My late grandfather(mums dad) and my other halves father, neither left a will. Its always messy, extremely sad for blood descendants, and not so for those second spouses.
Mind you, so is a will made when 'not in quite sound mind' and some 'weird friends' end up as executors of them, pushing out the only living family of 'Aunty Doris'

Its truly not a nice thing to occur, when a loved one passes and it seems there is a big fight over possessions and money of any value. No wonder the memories are soured

[GreekIslandGirl]

Problem with aging cypriot men, they cannot control their 'villo' their wives body bare cools down before they are marrying young tarts mainly eastern european, russian or asian. And then they think they are desired all the while the tart is eyeing their money.

It has become a major social problem. Whilst it is rare for Cypriot women to enter into second marriages once their spouse has died, the converse is true for the men. They want trophies!

[Get Real!]

I use to have a good friend at school that always had a good reason not to go out with us. The one day he’d say we’ve got a test, the next we’ve got exams, and the one after that we’ve got to prepare for some other test that’s coming!

As a result of his attitude he missed out on a lot of the fun we had as teenagers. Sure, we weren’t getting the 90s and 100s he was getting in tests and exams, but we did pass with 70s and 80s and also had plenty of fun along the way!

Years later (at 45ish) we met up again and he was thrilled to see me so it didn’t take him long to start inviting me to go do this and go do that but this time I was the one rejecting him!

He just couldn’t understand why his former classmate party animal was no longer willing to party and I had to explain that I had already been there and done that and that he had left it too late!

Some Cypriot men make that mistake… they don’t enjoy themselves when they should and then when they’re in their 40s or 50s and have a family and other commitments, they’re looking for the full blown adventure but the train left the station long ago…

[Paphitis]

Problem with aging cypriot men, they cannot control their 'villo' their wives body bare cools down before they are marrying young tarts mainly eastern european, russian or asian. And then they think they are desired all the while the tart is eyeing their money.

It has become a major social problem. Whilst it is rare for Cypriot women to enter into second marriages once their spouse has died, the converse is true for the men. They want trophies!

Yes it is a problem.

But it is not all that rare for an intelligent women who is widowed to re marry. My wife's Godmother and Leonidas, both widowed, of the same age, and with a lot in common are in a bit of a de facto. They are happy but both are sensible human beings and were looking for companionship.

I think that males will rarely go after an old girl no matter how rich! Younger and skint maybe but not old and rich. Whereas women are more likely to go after the bucks.

For males it might be more physical, whereas for the female it might be about money.

Methinks there should be more hookers!