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by **fig head** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 5:48 pm

I am in a situation were I don't know if I am on the right or on the wrong ..

I moved out to a big nice house, and my best friend said she would love to stay with me which is ok by me but I am sort of control freak and I am completely different person inside my house, I am a party animal, I drink and I socialize on a big scale BUT I do all that outside my house in coffee shops, bars or clubs etc I do not invite people around my house and I like no visitors, this is just me my house have to be quite and dead homey, my best friend started telling me she want her boyfriend to come over on a daily basis and her friends will come for tea or watch a movie etc and I really really don't like this , I have a no boy role and it is breaking and don't know what to tell my friend as I don't want her to think I am not being her friend or that I am trying to control her ....

I really don't know how to get out of this situation add to that I pay for everything alone cause she do not like to get a job and live off her parent and boyfriend ...

.... She is my best friend and now I am torn between my privacy and life style and losing her over it...

What you think I should do that would be a win win... not losing my friend and in the same time keep my life in order ..

Only wise replies please... if you want to be funny go do it some where else.

by **SSBubbles** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 5:57 pm

Figgy - if this girl is your best friend she should know how you are and all your little quirks etc. If she has failed to notice them, talk to her and tell her your fears. If she really is as good a friend as you say, she should understand! Good luck

by **johbee** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 6:52 pm

Sounds like she's just taking advantage of you. If you're paying the bills then you make the rules. If she doesn't want to play by the rules then it's time for her to go. Like bubble's said: if she's a friend she will understand. If not then she's not a very good friend.

by **GreekIslandGirl** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 7:09 pm

Your home is your castle, your retreat and sanctuary, hun. You need to explain to your friend how you feel about your privacy and she needs to respect it.

by **Schnauzer** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 7:42 pm

I agree with the three preceding comments but would like to make a small observation regarding yours.

When you state that you are a 'Party Animal', you may well be incorrectly labelling your true nature (imho), there are many people who willingly socialize BUT, prefer their own company within the confines of their own home (when they are fully at ease) and there is nothing wrong with that.

Such a nature as you display as the 'Party Animal' (if it is NOT your true nature) is easily taken advantage of since you would wish to conform with the actions of those you associate with.

Your TRUE friends, will know of your TRUE nature and will NOT abuse it, therefore, if I am correct (and my experiences in life convince me that I am) I would advise you to look a little closer at your 'Best Friends'.

One TRUE one being worth a thousand FALSE.

Best Wishes Always. X

by **fig head** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 10:41 pm

I love a party me but I am not one of them people who think life is one big party, everything have a place and time..(so,, no It is not my nature to just party)

She is going through a bad time this is why it is a problem for me, I cant start talking about what I want when I know she needs me as a friend now ..... I think I need to have a serious talk and try to be realistic in the same time.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply me ... I needed to get this out of my head before it stresses me out .. good night

by **Get Real!** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 10:57 pm

Figgy, you will NOT lose your friend by telling her that you prefer to live alone but you WILL lose her if she moves in and you end up having a big nasty argument.

Tell her you love to party with her but you don’t want to live with her because they are two different things and you don’t want to risk losing her friendship by being room mates which would open up so many opportunities to fight.

by **fig head** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 11:08 pm

Schnauzer wrote:I agree with the three preceding comments but would like to make a small observation regarding yours.

When you state that you are a 'Party Animal', you may well be incorrectly labelling your true nature (imho), there are many people who willingly socialize BUT, prefer their own company within the confines of their own home (when they are fully at ease) and there is nothing wrong with that.

Such a nature as you display as the 'Party Animal' (if it is NOT your true nature) is easily taken advantage of since you would wish to conform with the actions of those you associate with.

Your TRUE friends, will know of your TRUE nature and will NOT abuse it, therefore, if I am correct (and my experiences in life convince me that I am) I would advise you to look a little closer at your 'Best Friends'.

One TRUE one being worth a thousand FALSE.

Best Wishes Always. X

I have a full time job, I never drink in the house, I only go mental on Sat (party hard til you drop) ..And what I meant is that I am not being annoyed because I am a doll person wanna set at home miserable but because I appreciate what a quite house means.... peace of minds and stress free time.

And because One true friend worth thousand fake. I came here and talked to you, I am doubting my self on my own actions and thoughts just because I think she is a good friend if not a true friend .. Best thing to do is to be on the clear tho she will understand... I hope