Cyprus-Forum.com

by **Hermes** » Fri Dec 02, 2011 8:39 pm

It's Census Day on Sunday in the occupied areas!

For all our T/C forum members who reside in the occupied areas here is some important information for Census Day:

1. Do not leave your home during the curfew. Otherwise you will be shot.
2. Make sure you have enough food to last the whole day.
3. Remove all sheep and goats from your house. They do not count as citizens. No matter how close you are.
4. If you are here illegally, write down "TRNC citizen" in the box.
5. If you are here legally, please sod off as we don't want your sort here.
6. If you are a student, you've been had. Our degrees are useless.
7. If you're a carpetbagger, you've been had. Our title deeds are useless.
8. If you're David Haye, you're just plain useless.
9. If you're Rauf Denktash, sorry but vegetables aren't included.
10. If you're Eroglu, sorry but puppets aren't included.
11. If you're a male gay prostitute then you've come to the right place.
12. Anyone else just put an "X" where it says: "I am here legally. I am not an Anatolian goat-herder. Honest".

And here are the results:
1 million citizens of the "TRNC" (in your dreams).
0 settlers
0 illegal workers
Everything is just great.

Signed
T. Erdogan. Sultan of the New Ottoman Empire.

by **bill cobbett** » Fri Dec 02, 2011 9:17 pm

13. If you're one of the massive total of 7 UN census observers assigned to the whole of the Occupied Territories... well just take the day off.

by **GreekIslandGirl** » Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:52 pm

Are the 40,000 Turkish troops included?

(btw - How many can read?

)

by **kurupetos** » Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:56 pm

GreekIslandGirl wrote:Are the 40,000 Turkish troops included?

(btw - How many can read? )

1.5434%

by **Get Real!** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 3:51 am

Hermes wrote:It's Census Day on Sunday in the occupied areas!

Will there be a distinction between “Turkish Cypriots” and “Turks of Cyprus” ? :lol:

by **Hermes** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:40 pm

Can our TC members living under the Turkish yoke, I think it's only Halil and Viewpoint these days, please make sure they do not venture outside today to make sure they have been counted for the "census". We don't want the occupation authorities getting their figures wrong.

So stand up and be counted!

Or rather: Stay indoors and be counted!