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[Schnauzer]

"Nowhere Near Worth it's Weight in Gold".


As one would expect in the process of a 'Police Investigation', the 'Clues' or other matters of interest are thoroughly examined by various members of the 'Investigative Team', each one assigned to the task of gleaning whatever positive facts they can from the information they have at their disposal.

One such 'Member' took it upon himself to look more closely at what might have been contained in the 'Box' which was given to 'Chris' for delivery, glancing through the statements made by 'Chris', his attention was drawn to the 'Parcel' which 'Chris' had first been sent to collect and he decided to concentrate his efforts on THAT point, he researched the notes taken when 'Chris' was interviewed and found that the question of size and weight of the 'Parcel' had been discussed, it was not a very large one and the weight was estimated to be about '2 Kgs' and something about the size of a good quality 'Shirt Box', it was a 'Hard Parcel' and might well be exactly that which is indicated here.

His attention was then drawn to the notes taken during the interview with the 'Six' financial 'Backers', he knew from the details that they had given, that each of them had 'Invested' 'Fifty Thousand Pounds' in 'Cash' and he began to research the probable 'Weight' of the 'Three Hundred Thousand Pounds' if it was made up of an assortment of circulated and uncirculated notes of different values, his calculations confirmed that the 'Box' which 'Chris' had taken for delivery was quite capable of containing a sum in excess of the money 'Invested' together with the money which (he assumed) was in the 'Parcel' collected by 'Chris'.

His next move was to discover whether or not the 'Serial Numbers' of any of the notes passed over in the transactions were available, he was disappointed to discover that they were not, in each case, the 'Backers' confirmed that the 'Cash' used was that which had passed among themselves whilst 'Dealing' with each other, the accumulation of such sums may well be part of the end product of years of such 'Deals' and would therefore be impossible to trace.

By adopting this train of thought, he was able to arrive at a very accurate assessment of just how the entire 'Deception' was set up, the 'Rabbi' was very foolish to have allowed himself to be so easily 'Tricked' into becoming party to such an obvious 'Scam' (if that is what it was) BUT, when 'Greed' preoccupies the mind, even the wisest and most careful are susceptible to it's influences, if it transpires that it WAS a 'Scam', then it was one which was performed with great skill.

Satisfied that his efforts were of some value in the 'Investigation', it was now his task to 'Link' his findings to those of the other 'Officers' in the hope that they may be connected to the 'Murder' inquiry, it MUST be assumed that his 'Theory' is correct (if it is not, there will be a re-think) in order that an overall picture of the events leading up to the 'Murder' might lead to the arrest of those responsible.

Without 'Positive Proof' of ANY substantial event thus far, the only route possible for the 'Police' is one which relies on the outcome of the 'Processes of Elimination' which attend every idea and supposition throughout the 'Investigation', almost like trying to make way through a thick 'Fog' whilst hoping that suddenly a 'Shaft of Light' will point the correct way.

Such is the 'Lot' of the 'Police Officer' and it is small wonder that some of them are such 'Nasty Gits', they exist in a world where they have to unravel the webs of 'Lies and Deception' throughout their working lives, sadly, the effects of such an existence, often renders them unable to associate with anyone outside of the 'Force' on a 'Social Level' and anyone who thinks they have a 'Friend' who is a 'Policeman', had best be on their best behaviour, (Unless he is a 'Crooked Cop' like MY mate 'Arthur') but I STILL wouldn't bet my life on his 'Friendship.

[Schnauzer]

"Emmanuel's Enigmatic Enterprises"


The task of 'Deciphering' the coded messages of the 'Ledger' which was found under one of the units in the house in 'The Drive', has been subjected to the scrutiny of the finest 'Brains' available to the 'Police Forensic Departments' and has managed to present them with a great many problems.

The 'Standard Method' of 'Decoding' is a relatively simple process, one simply selects the most commonly used letter (or Symbol) and assumes that it is representative of the most commonly used letter in the 'English Language' which is 'E' (and it usually is a good starting point).

To those who are involved in the 'Decoding Process', the more complex the puzzle, the more they enjoy studying it and hopefully, solving it since such an achievement is initially a great booster to their 'Self Esteem' and subsequently, erases from the memory of any 'Observers', the enormous amount of time spent sipping tea and absenting themselves from duty in order to have a 'Smoking Break, altogether quite a nice way to earn a living when compared to the furious activities of those who have to do all the 'Leg Work'.

Thus it was that 'Andreas' (a 'Greek') was selected to take charge of the intensive perusal of the 'Ledger', he was an expert in the field of 'Forensics, particularly in those areas which were connected to 'Forgery', 'Counterfeit' and many other forms of 'Deception' which were embraced by his 'Department', he was also quite adept at 'Delegating his Responsibilities' to his 'Subordinates' which afforded him a great deal of time to relax in his comfortable armchair and enjoy the occasional 'Snooze'.

His selection for 'Senior Post' was the 'Brainchild' of an elderly 'Boffin' of 'Russian Descent' who had taken quite a shine to 'Andreas' because of his apparent 'Respect' for those who were in advancing years, "Old Greylocks" (as he was referred to by many in the 'Department') was the 'Epitome' of the 'Absent-Minded Professor' BUT, make no mistake, this man's capacity to solve puzzles was beyond reproach, it was even rumoured that HE was one of the 'Boffins' that solved the great mystery of 'The ENIGMA codes' of World War 2, his wild eyes and flowing 'Grey Hair' immediately afforded him a distinction which set him quite apart from the rest of his associates, some of whom referred to him as "Old Bollocks" whenever he made them appear inferior due to his extraordinary abilities in the field of 'Forensics'. (but NEVER to his knowledge of course).

Another factor which encouraged the selection of 'Andreas' was that there were certain 'Greek' letters incorporated in the 'Ledger Codes' and 'Ilya' (for that was the 'Boffin's' name) thought it appropriate that 'Andreas' should be considered before any other member of the 'Team, the fact that only TWO words that were actually intelligible throughout the entire 'Ledger' ( Χρυσός and ασήμι) were in 'Greek', certainly prompted 'Ilya' in no small way, to select 'Andreas' as the obvious choice.

'Andreas' was once approached by one of his 'Subordinates' as he was nodding off, he was accused by him of doing nothing to assist in the process of discovery and was severely reprimanded for his effrontery, 'Andreas' countered his remonstration by declaring that he was 'THINKING' and that the subordinate had interrupted his thoughts to such an extent that he would now have to re-structure the whole pattern of them, he accepted the apology of the 'Subordinate' and leaned back, once again feigning the countenance of one engaged in the processes of deep thought.

At his OWN desk, "Old Greylocks" was seated with his elbows planted firmly on his desktop, his hands were clenched into two tight fists and the 'Fists' were firmly pressed against his 'Forehead', HERE was a man that was THINKING and little good was it doing him, he could make neither 'Head nor Tail' of any of it.

It was not until 'Chief Inspector Patrick Muldoon' jokingly referred to the comment made by 'Jacob Baum' when he mentioned how the 'Rabbi' had cursed , 'The little Rat 'Manny' and his Hieroglyphics', that the 'Penny Dropped' in the mind of "Old Greylocks" and, just as 'Archimedes is reputed to have exclaimed when he discovered the principle of 'Specific Gravity', he threw his arms in the air and shouted, "Eureka!" which quite startled 'Andreas' as he quickly snapped to full consciousness and immediately interpreted the famous word back to the original 'Greek' ( Βρήκα ) which was about the ONLY contribution he had made to the investigations thus far.

"Forget about WORDS" ventured 'Ilya', "These symbols are only representative of FIGURES and if we arrange them and interpose them with the numbers from '1 to10', we will soon see if my theory is correct!".

There was still much work to be done adopting the new approach to the problem BUT, it DID produce acceptable results and the 'Team' were eventually looking at an interpretation which informed them that the 'True Value' of whatever 'Treasure' had been amassed during 'Manny's' lifetime, amounted to a sum in excess of 'Ten Million Pounds', "Old Greylocks" scratched his head and remarked, "ALMOST enough to give EVERY 'Russian Soldier ' who was killed in 'World War 2' a POUND each for their life, and he wiped his eyes in sorrow.

As to the actual 'Location' of the 'Treasure' of 'Emmanuel Snitzmandorf', it is as obscure as the 'Moon of Ganymede' which orbits the planet 'Jupiter' , is to the naked eye on a sunny afternoon.

Thus, the solving of ONE 'Riddle' has created another, "Where IS the 'Treasure of Emmanuel Snitzmandorf?".

[Schnauzer]

"The Monumental Motivation"


The importance of the discovery of evidence that 'Emmanuel Snitzmandorf' had such a vast 'Treasure' secreted somewhere, was not something of an advance in their quest to solve the mystery of his murder, at least they now had some idea of a probable 'Motive' for it albeit that THAT was all they had, the whereabouts of the 'Treasure' now presented them with an even bigger 'Riddle' than the 'Ledger' had presented them with.

Once again the 'Experts' in the 'Police Force' were huddled together cudgelling their brains trying to determine where one would store such a 'Treasure', they reasoned that wherever it was, it was likely to be in a very secure location, it would be too large to leave in 'Safety Deposit Boxes', the fact that it was listed in the 'Ledger' as thousands of various items of both 'Gold' and Silver' and that the 'Weight' would be considerable, led them to believe that it would be stored in some kind of 'Vault' somewhere, not necessarily a 'Bank Vault' since the apparently 'Frugal Nature' of 'Emmanuel' suggested that he would not relish the idea of 'Paying' for it's storage, nor would his mean character allow him to 'Entrust' anyone with the knowledge of it's existence, the 'Police' decided that the answer to it's location 'Might' be found back in the house where the 'Ledger' was found, perhaps the 'Rabbi' and his 'Geriatric Team' had overlooked something the 'Police would not.

The news of 'Manny's' unfortunate demise was now common knowledge, as also was the 'Rabbi's', it did not escape the notice of 'The Brotherhood' either and those members which had been questioned by the 'Police' (The 'Riverboat Owner' and The 'Scrap Dealer') decided to formulate a 'Plan' which might assist the 'Police' in drawing a conclusion to their investigations, they had not really pursued the question of 'Identity' quite as thoroughly with the 'Scrap Dealer' as they had with the 'Riverboat Owner', obviously the 'Scrap Dealer' would be less likely to be aware of 'WHO' brought in vehicles to his premises, he had several employees and 'They' would be better equipped to supply such information, some of them were not present when the 'Police' visited the premises and only became aware of the event the following day, 'Perfect'.

Two of the employees were quite fond of a 'Drink', they were also ferociously loyal to their employer, so, when 'Tom' and 'Larry' (Two men from 'The Land where 'Poets' dwell and 'Heroes' fell , 'Eire') were called to the 'Office' in the 'Yard' and asked to help their 'Boss' out of a difficult situation, they both jumped at the chance, they were offered 'Two Hundred Pounds' each if they were willing to concoct a story which would satisfy the 'Police' in their inquiry.

The 'Scrap Dealer' contacted the 'Police' and informed them that two of his men could give a description of the person who brought in the two vehicles, they both had dealt with him and were able to remember him clearly since he brought the first one in (the smaller of two) during their morning shift, and the larger one later in the afternoon, they both remembered him quite well because "He was one of those people you see up around 'Stoke Newington' wearing those long coats and black hats" and they went on to describe a gentleman with a beard and thick glasses of about 'Sixty Years' of age (or thereabouts) and he had NOT 'Haggled' very much about the price he was given, which they thought was unusual because he was 'Jewish'.

It ALL fitted in, the mysterious costumes worn by those who had dumped the body in the 'Thames', the lifting of 'Floorboards' in the house in 'The Drive', the manner in which the 'Backer's Money' had been stolen and made to look like a 'Scam', it MUST be that the 'Rabbi' was behind the whole scenario and that the 'Backers' must have been in 'Cahoots' with him.

As to the persons who had assisted the 'Rabbi In the search for 'Treasure', only 'Jacob Baum' admitted any knowledge of it, the others were all convinced that they were searching for evidence of 'Rat Infestation', therefore, the 'Rabbi', Jacob Baum, and the 'Six Backers' made a 'Gang' of 'Eight', so WHO could be the 'Ninth' member which would make up the full compliment of those who were on the 'Riverboat' that fateful night?.

"Ah sure that is simple enough to figure out" said 'Chief Inspector Patrick Muldoon "The 'Lady' that young 'Chris' met near the 'Pub' could easily have been wearing the 'Supergirl Hoodie' under her coat, she could have slipped a 'Long Blond Wig' over her short hair and made sure she was seen, ALL designed to cover the 'Rabbi's' tracks".

"But what about the reaction of the 'Six Backers' when they discovered their money was lost?" asked one of the 'Team' as he looked around for some recognition for his astuteness "AH by Jayzus" replied the 'C.I', "For the kind of 'Money' THOSE 'Sons of Whore's Ghosts' were likely to make if they got away with it, sure ANYONE could raise the kind of tune THEY did, come on now lads, round up the whole lot of 'em and bring 'em on in again", and the 'C.I' smiled to himself as he nipped out to the toilet for a quick 'Fag'.

[Schnauzer]

"Cherchez La Femme"

A sense of urgency had suddenly gripped the 'Team' as they paired off and departed on their missions of 'Round Up', the only person who seemed to be unimpressed with the 'Theory' that the 'Rabbi' was the 'Mastermind' behind the whole series of events was 'Andreas', he leaned back in his comfortable chair and casually declared "It just doesn't make sense to assume that the 'Rabbi' was the 'Main Man', there is ONE reason which certainly suggests otherwise" and he rattled the end of the pencil he had been chewing the end of in his teeth.
"And what might that reason be?" asked the 'C.I', "Well Sir" replied 'Andreas', " The fact that the 'Rabbi' suffered a fatal 'Heart Attack' at the precise time that he was told that the 'Van' had been stolen and the 'Box' with it, would seem to me to be evidence enough that he did NOT know what was going to take place, in fact, the ONLY piece of useful information and THAT still only an assumption, is that the 'Box' must have contained something of great value, we have already concluded that the 'Box' may have held a sum of money approaching 'Half a Million Pounds' (according to research into the weight of it) and the only point of any use to US, is the fact that our conclusion MIGHT be correct, if you see what I mean".

The 'C.I.' was impressed with the 'Logic' expressed by 'Andreas', it DID make perfect sense and he was now faced with the prospect of having to justify the sudden 'Urgency' aforementioned, the 'Police Station' was about to be crowded with what they had hoped would be the 'Gang' responsible for matters they were investigating, it now looked as though they were back to 'Square One' and it was quite frustrating.

"If I may be so bold" ventured 'Andreas', "Would it not be a step in the right direction if we were to question the 'Six' who advanced their 'Cash', a little more thoroughly?, we could inform them that we are not too happy about their claims that the money was for a 'Property Deal', perhaps even indicate that we know otherwise, we are already a bit suspicious about their story in any case and it could do no harm to put them under pressure if we separate them, what do you think".

The 'C.I' nodded his head and replied "I think you may have come up with a good plan, they did not know about the 'Treasure Hunt' when we first interviewed them, it is unlikely that 'Jacob Baum' will tell them what he knows about it, which gives US the option of setting a 'Trap' for them if we imply that we have evidence that 'Drugs' were involved and the matter is likely to be investigated by the 'Drugs Squad', the thought of their homes being invaded by a 'Drugs Unit' armed to the teeth and in possession of 'Search Warrants', might loosen their tongues, well done 'Andreas', I have a good feeling about this one!".

The 'Six' were immediately separated as soon as they entered the 'Police Station', they were ushered into different rooms and one by one informed that they were under suspicion of 'Drug Dealing', they were also told that their stories about 'Phantom Property Deals' were not believed and that they could prove them to be false, finally, they suggested that the only way they could save themselves from serious embarrassment, was to 'Come Clean' about the money.

Every 'Officer' involved in the investigations was amazed at the outcome of the 'Interviews', each of the 'Six' had at first tried to wriggle out of explaining their involvement in 'Investing' BUT, the most incredible point to come out of a series of very probing questions (bearing in mind that the 'Six' had no contact with each other) was that they ALL confessed that they had 'NO Idea' of how their money was to be used.

"More and more 'Headaches' for us all" said the 'C.I' "The fact that they have ALL declared that they had no knowledge of what their money was to be used for, creates the reason to suppose that 'Drugs' may be behind the whole business as far as THEY were concerned, whereas 'Treasure' was the 'Motive' for the rest of them involved, by 'Jayzus', and here was I thinking that this was going to be an EASY case to clear up".

The outcome of the 'Interviews' suited 'Andreas' down to the ground, he once again reclined in his comfortable chair, adopted the countenance of a 'Great Thinker' and quietly dozed off for another 'Forty Winks.

Meanwhile, 'Jacob Baum' was subjected to another serious 'Grilling, the only information that they could get out of HIM, seemed to confirm that the 'Old Boys' who were engaged to lift floorboards, were completely oblivious to the events taking place, they had not even received a 'Penny' for their labours.

"The ONLY person that might be able to shed some light on what this is all about, is 'Supergirl' whoever SHE may be", said the 'C.I' "If ever their was a case where the expression 'Cherchez La Femme' was appropriate, THIS is it!".

[Schnauzer]

"The arrest of Supergirl"


A 'Lady' of about Forty years of age was making quite a nuisance of herself in the 'Bar' of 'The Rosemary Branch' public house in 'Shepperton Road, Islington', she had long 'Straw' coloured hair which was very unkempt and she was obviously the worse for drink, she bumped into a table which was occupied by two young couples and the drinks and glasses flew everywhere as a result of her clumsiness, one of the young Men was absolutely furious and began to 'Admonish' her quite severely, (the reason for why I use the term 'Admonish, is because THIS Chap was a very well educated young Man and was actually quite 'Out of Place' in such an establishment as 'The Rosemary Branch) and the manner in which he addressed her was not as one would expect in this location.

Other patrons of the 'Pub' were quite annoyed at the 'Lady's' behaviour and almost in unison demanded that the 'Landlord' should take steps to eject her from the premises, the 'Lady' was not in the mood to comply with the 'Landlord's' insistance that She should remove herself which prompted the young Man to take up the cause himself. "I say there" he said "Are you not thoroughly ashamed of yourself?, a Woman of your age behaving in such an unacceptable manner in an inebriated state is quite frankly, 'Shameful', kindly comply with the 'Landlord's' instructions and remove yourself forthwith!".

The 'Lady' stood quite still, She looked at the 'Chap' who had just spoken to her and placed her hands on her hips before saying, "Ah, Tork ordnery ya Bollicks!" and those opening words were the 'Prelude' to a 'Tirade of Abuse' the likes of which would shame the page upon which such expressions were printed, therefore, out of deference to the sensitivities of any 'Ladies' that might catch site of these writings, I can only leave them to the imagination of the reader.

Whatever sympathy that 'Foul Mouthed Woman' may have attracted due to her drunken state, her 'Expressions' quickly removed them, everyone was completely 'Shocked', more so since the young couples were something of a 'Novelty' in this particular 'Pub' and two or three of the 'Patrons' made a move toward ejecting Her, "Hold Up!" called a 'Female Voice' from one of the other tables "The 'Poor Cow' is drunk and She shouldn't be treated rough, find out where She lives and I'LL take 'er 'ome" and with that, the 'Voice' approached Her and said, "It's awlright me dear, jus' tell us where ya live an' we'll see ya gets 'ome safely".

Once again the 'Lady' stood still, she looked at the 'Voice' and, possibly recognising that She was about to receive some assistance said, "The Elephant!" (meaning the district quite a distance from Islington 'The Elephant and Castle) at which point the 'Voice', realising the extent of the task she had just volunteered herself for, took one or or two steps backwards and said " Oh my Gawd!" before returning to her seat at the table, once again leaving the 'Lady' to the discretion of the 'Landlord' and the 'Patrons'.

There IS a sound reason for why this particular incident is mentioned, the 'Landlord' called the 'Police' since he did not wish the situation to escalate into one which might erupt into a violent confrontation between the 'Lady' and any one of his 'Patrons', the 'Police' responded very quickly and the 'Lady' was taken into custody where they were resolved to keep her until the next morning, it would be usual for such a case as this to be dealt with by the 'Local Magistrates' at 'Highbury Magistrates Court' BUT, upon removing her overcoat, the 'Lady' revealed that she was wearing a 'Blue Supergirl Hoodie' underneath it and 'Alarm Bells' rang as the 'Police' were searching for a person, the description of which this 'Lady' seemed to fit perfectly.

An urgent call was put through to 'Hornsey Police Station' and thence to 'Edmonton Police Station' where the news of the 'Lady's' arrest was met with joyful expectation that 'AT LAST', there might be some light at the end of the tunnel, 'Chief Inspector Patrick Muldoon' was off duty at the time the news was received, he informed his colleagues that he would be at the 'Station' within the hour and true to his word he was.

The 'Lady's name was 'Katie A'Hearn', She was the Daughter of 'Joe and Mary Hoolihan' (Notorious 'Tinkers' from the region of 'Killkenny' in 'Eire'), offshoots of a 'Clan' which could always be depended upon to 'Speak their Minds' and 'No Holds Barred' when it came to confrontations, blessed by the 'Almighty to give an account of themselves which would NEVER leave the recipient of their 'Tongue Lashings' in any doubt as to where they stood in their estimation, how much better the world would be if we ALL were graced with such directness.

As soon as 'Chief Inspector Patrick Muldoon' walked into the 'Cell' which held 'Katie', She let rip with another ferocious verbal attack upon the authorities that held her, She informed him in no uncertain terms that "As big as Y'ar, I'd split Ya as soon as lookity'a" and the 'C.I' knew that there was no possibility that THIS 'Lady' was the one that they were looking for.

"By Jayzus Christ" he said "The track of that Women's tongue would be enough to tell you that she has nothing to do with our inquiry, for God's sake take the poor 'Crature' home, and don't be making yourselves out to be bigger 'Eedgits' than you already are, sure She has a tongue worse than a 'Dying Whore' and she'll drive you's all mad if you keep her here".

Chief Inspector Patrick Muldoon AGAIN broke one of the 'Cardinal Rules' of 'Policing' by ensuring that no charges were brought against the 'Lady' and that she was taken safely home.

Perhaps he recognised the 'Freedom' that is the foundation of THIS 'Lady's' existence, perhaps he even 'Envies' it, not a bad judge if he does, compared to the 'Lies and Deceit' that has become the accepted principles of the lives of so many of us 'Misfortunate' enough to be lacking the 'Natural Integrity' of the 'Tinkers'.

[Schnauzer]

The Grass Fields of Forensics"

The release from custody of 'Katie A'Hearn' was yet another blow to the self esteem of those who were involved in the investigations, it seemed that whichever way they attempted to piece together evidence, disappointment and failure were the only two 'Positives' the 'Team' could be sure of achieving, the usual flurry of activity in the 'Forensic Department' was more akin to a 'Payer Meeting' than a high powered source of research and reason, an air of 'Gloom' had descended upon every member of the 'Team' and the frustration of not being able to advance was written on every one of their faces.

Generally speaking, such 'Departments' are capable of producing an abundance of 'Leads' which usually manifest into quite startling results, in THIS case however, it was becoming apparent that no matter which avenue of evidence they explored, regardless of their efforts, they would always be met with a 'Brick Wall' at the end of it and the despondency which attended the recognition of such a fact, was not easy for the 'Team' to deal with, they were so used to successful conclusions whenever their ideas or theories correlated.

To an 'Outsider', such 'Failures' would be very hard to explain given the amount of 'Technological Equipment' that was at the disposal of the 'Police Forces', one could be excused for thinking that the fault might be attributable to a lack of interest or the possible inexperience of those involved in the investigations BUT, there is a far easier explanation to consider which is not quite so obvious to the 'Lay Person'.

The input of those members of the general public who volunteer information based on the premise that it is their 'Duty' to come forward, often relishing the thought that they are acting as 'Law Abiding Citizens' by so doing when in fact they are (in some cases) spurred by 'Envy' to do so.

Not that it is wrong to divulge information when extremely serious or harmful crimes are committed against innocent people BUT, in the event of a 'Thief being Robbed' or a 'Burglar being Burgled' (etc), it might be wiser to keep one's mouth shut since, apart from the danger of being 'Targeted for Revenge' by those who may be captured as a result of the information given by the 'Public Spirited One', the 'Stigma' of being labelled as a 'GRASS' by those who are a little less willing to 'Conform', is not one to wear with pride.

Nor should these remarks be taken as an indication that the writer is advocating that it is acceptable to commit 'Crimes' BUT, when one is obliged to accept that (particularly in these recent times) 'Honesty and Integrity' are the qualities expected of every one of us, whilst those in 'Authority' are constantly (almost on a daily basis) being exposed as 'Liars' and 'Thieves and 'Worse', it is small wonder that the 'Crime Rate' has increased and hitherto 'Honest and Industrious' folk resort to it in order to survive.

The 'Curtain Twitchers' of our society are increasing in numbers, proof of such will soon become increasingly apparent when the 'Hosepipe Bans' are announced, those who 'DARE' to get out of bed at 3 O'clock in the morning to give their garden a 'Squirt', had better watch out for the people next door, the 'Age of the GRASS' is upon us all ALL.

Thus I maintain that 'Envy' is at the root of many incidents where the 'Police' are informed of a 'Wrongdoing' and in fact, it is quite surprising on just how reliant the 'Police Force' is upon the information received from the 'GRASSES' in our society, 'Social Failures' whose only achievements in life are based upon their warped sense of 'Duty', probably the end product of an unhappy childhood which was the result of 'Telling Tales' at school, old habits never die.

If one wishes to experience (to a lesser degree) the characteristics of the typical 'GRASS', get behind the wheel of your car and purposely make a small error of judgement, one which would be easily rectified if left unnoticed BUT, how often does one meet with the 'Other Motorist' that would dearly love to see you arrested for your small error, that will even attempt to make things more difficult for you?, 'Congratulations' you have just been in close proximity to a potential 'GRASS'.

Without the assistance of such 'Scum' (as described above) the 'Police' are very often quite powerless to advance their investigations, in the case of 'Isaac Koch', if they are relying on a 'GRASS' to point them in the right direction, I fear they may be in for some further disappointment, such 'Characteristics' do not exist (nor would they be tolerated) in 'The Brotherhood'. :wink

[Schnauzer]

"Exasperating Explanations"

Only the drumming of fingertips on desktops broke the silence in the room where (at their desks) sat a few of the finest 'Investigators' in the regional office appointed to the solving of the mysteries surrounding the case of 'Emmanuel Snitzmandorf', it was more or less agreed among the 'Team', that every avenue of research had been exhausted and the outcome was 'Nothing'.

Time and again they had juggled with various permutations which might lead them to explanations of 'Why', 'Where', 'When' 'How' and by 'Whom' the whole 'Scheme' was initially thought out and subsequently carried out, it was agreed that they knew the 'Where', the 'When' and 'How' as far as the 'Murder' was concerned, it was also agreed that the most likely 'Motive' for the 'Murder' was perceived financial gain BUT, all in all, at best it was still only 'Guesswork' and fell far short of the results they expected when first they studied the case.

One of the 'Experts' spotted a 'Flaw' in the statement made by 'Chris the Carpenter' when he was interviewed earlier on in the investigation, he decided to have 'Chris' brought in again for further questioning and 'Chris' showed no reluctance to comply with the request, he exuded an air both of 'Naivety and Innocence' which only served to add to the despondency felt by those who questioned him.

'Andreas' was appointed as the best candidate to pose a 'Loaded Question' to 'Chris', it was felt that as he was from the same country (Greece), he might be able to catch 'Chris' unawares when he simply asked, "Why did you leave the 'Keys' in your van when you went to the door of the house in Shepperton Road?", then sat back in his chair with quite a smug expression on his face and arms on his chest whilst awaiting the response.

He did not have long to wait for an answer as 'Chris' slammed his fist on the desk and challenged the point which was clearly an attempt to involve 'HIM' in whatever wrongdoing had taken place, 'Reh!" he forcefully replied "Back in my own Village, I can leave the 'Keys' to my House, my Van, and anything I have from one day up to nexty 'Chrissimas' and is nobody try to take him, you have to be shame from youself to asking me this things, only in 'England' is he wrong to do him, but I not making this mistake any more" and that was an end to the 'Loaded Question' which (it was hoped) might have produced a satisfactory 'New' lead.

Similarly the 'Six' backers were recalled for further interrogation, THIS time, severe pressure was put on them to divulge any further information that they may have, they were threatened with arrest for 'Conspiracy' and informed that an investigation into 'Drug Dealing' was imminent, all to no avail, it was obvious that none of the 'Six' were really involved in anything other than attempting to make a quick profit on their investments.

'Tom' and 'Larry' were further questioned, they also were treated to 'Loaded Questions' when it was put to them that another 'Witness' had come forward and identified the person who dropped off the two vehicles as different to their own, only to be disappointed once again when 'Tom' said, "Well if that be the case, what in the name of 'Jayzus' are you asking us all these questions for?, I can only tell ye' what I seen with me own eyes and as far as I'm concerned, the man was as I said he was".

'Larry' answered the same questions in a similar manner and the 'Brick Wall' was as firm as it had ever been.

"Without the help of the 'General Public' on this one" said one member of the 'Team', "We have little hope of finding out much about THIS case, the only chance we have got is that the 'Gang' might start fighting over the 'Cash' that seems to have gone missing and, even THAT is only something we are guessing at, what we really need is for someone to 'GRASS' on 'em, it looks like it's got US beat".

[Schnauzer]

"A Shade For Each Nation"

I received a call from 'Jimmy Light' last evening, he informed me that the annual 'Easter Fair' meeting of 'The Brotherhood' will not be taking place in the 'Regent's Park' as is usual, he has arranged that it should take place in the green fields of 'Monaseed' (a location in 'Gorey, County Wexford, Eire') where Poets dwell and Heroes Fell and many more have Tales to Tell all in the name of 'Freedom'.

I was absolutely delighted to hear of the new 'Venue' since the lands upon which the 'Easter Celebrations' will take place were 'Gifted' to 'The Brotherhood' by the original owner who fell foul of the 'British Forces', (in troubled times) and it will be a 'Great Honour' to hold a 'Memorial Service' to such persons as 'Donal O'Hara' and his lovely Wife 'Hannah' who now are both at rest in the land they loved so well.

There is a certain person whom to this very day STILL regards 'Donal and Hannah' as his 'Mother and Father', he does not admit to the fact that they are now departed, he prefers to hold the memory of them dear to his heart for they 'Adopted' him (quite illegally according to British Law) when he was a troubled child, he was rescued from the clutches of those who held him captive in an 'Orphanage' where he was placed subsequent to the terrible fate of his 'Foster Parents' (who died in a house fire) and he never knew his REAL Mother or Father.

The trauma that the young child suffered as a result of such awful experiences at such an early age, could well have left him with 'Emotional Scars' for the remainder of his life, the 'Care' (or lack of it) he received at the 'Orphanage', only served to exacerbate the fears and anxieties he had developed UNTIL, he was blessed with the good fortune to meet his 'Angels'.

He was given the name of 'Ernie' by 'Donal O'Hara' for special reasons, firstly, the name 'Sounded' like one which was 'Earned' (by escaping), more importantly, it contained the letters which spelt both 'Eire' and 'Erin' and 'Donal' DID promise to make his young charge proud to be called 'A True Son of Erin' (in fact there is a 'Tinkers Song' which contain the famous 'Lyrics'..........."Arise from your 'Bumholes' you true Sons of Erin, and throw yourselves forward and into the foe, though greatly they stress us, they ne'er will oppress us, each good man among us will strike his own blow", and given the upbringing the young fellow received, he grew into the kind of 'Son' any Parent would be proud of.

This 'Man' (for that is what he is now), became a fine 'Musician' and also developed a compassionate nature which has held him in good stead to this day, it is small wonder that he will not forget the love and care he received from 'Donal and Hannah', it is why he still holds on to the memory of them so fiercely, he actually witnessed the death of 'Donal', who fell in defiance of a 'Command to Surrender' to a troop of Forty or Fifty heavily armed 'British Soldiers' who gunned him down along with one other 'Unarmed Man'.

But see how 'Fate' does lend a hand at every turn in our lives, this 'Man' also received harsh treatment on account of his unwillingness to 'GRASS' his companions BUT, after his term of imprisonment, he decided to 'Temporarily' adopt the 'Philosophy of Failure' which advises "If you can't Beat 'em, Join 'em" and so many do BUT, never would a 'True Son of Erin' demean himself by following such advice, HE would follow the other course, "If you need to avenge the mistreatment of others, seek revenge for yourself also" and the best way to do it if the opposition is too strong, is by 'Infiltration'.

Thus our 'True Son of Erin', approached his friends and secured certain funds and 'Documents' which endowed him with a new 'Identity', he boarded the 'Ferry' to England and resolved that he would do all in his power to uphold the 'Code' of 'The Brotherhood' and assist them in any way he could.

He enrolled as a 'Police Cadet' in 'Hendon', passed every exam with 'Honours' and currently holds the rank of 'Chief Inspector', "Ah God Bless You 'Patrick Muldoon', your actions are well noted by all your 'True Friends' and the 'Oath' you took with 'The Brotherhood' transcends ALL others, 'Once in, Never out' and YOU are one 'Man' that will never forget it.

Jimmy Light' has applied to the 'Charity Commissioners' and is currently registering his 'Charity', he toyed with the idea of naming it S.C.R.O.T.U.M.S. but realised that it would probably NOT be accepted, therefore, he has registered it as 'FOSOG' out of deference to 'Chief Inspector Patrick Muldoon' and the 'Irish Song' known as 'Forty Shades of Green' although the initials are actually indicative of 'Forty One Shades of Green' (Patrick being the extra one).

Each 'Elder' of 'The Brotherhood' will present a cheque in the sum of 'Five Thousand Pounds' (I have been honoured to do likewise which is the 'FIRST' time 'Jimmy' has actually asked me for anything) however, in return for the 'Cheque', each contributor will receive the sum of 'Ten Thousand Pounds Cash', not a bad return for 'Two Minutes Work', and not a bad sum to be in the 'Coffers' of the new 'Charity' which WILL be used to assist the 'Needy', unlike so many that only 'Feign' to do so.

As the 'Rabbi' once said (before his unfortunate demise) "Charity is a Good Business to be in", which is probably WHY so many 'Jews' are in it.

Such 'Arrangements' are also ideal for 'Laundering' large sums of money but are totally reliant on 'Trust', which possibly explains the reason for why there are SO many 'Jewish' charity organisations and SO few 'Jewish' Laundries.

[kurupetos]

Your writing is faster than my reading.

[Schnauzer]

Your writing is faster than my reading.

On Friday the 13th of April (A lucky day for 'The Brotherhood' and on THIS occasion a day which I look forward to although I confess that I am something of a 'Tridecaphobic'), I will have completed a 'Six Month' term of reassessment which (if favourable) will allow me to continue with my previous career as a 'Negotiator' and 'Trainer' rather than an 'Administrator' (Stuck behind a desk).

Had it not been for the fact that I have endured prolonged periods of isolation in the past, I am sure that the 'Boredom' of an 'Administrators' duties coupled with the immutable atmosphere of certain departments, would have caused me leap from the roof 'Sans Parachute'.

My thanks therefore, to B25 who suggested that I should 'Write a Book' (although others were less encouraging) and it is HIS suggestion which prompted me to occupy a little of my time writing about 'The Brotherhood', the alternative would have left me drumming my fingers on my desk, so 'Easy' do I find my new position in the strange world of 'Perfumed Pool Typists', Pen-pushing Pansies', Paper-clips' and 'Ponces' I am sure it will be to my detriment if I am NOT allowed to pursue my previous career.

A great deal of my time (after 'Office Hours') has been spent studying the events in various parts of the world, I seldom engage in any 'Political Exchanges' on forum since I am a person trained to 'Resolve Issues', I base my opinions on 'Experiences' rather than information gleaned through the 'Media Channels' and it is a result of such 'Experiences' which sustains me when subjected to 'Inane Verbal Abuse' from those who rely on 'Cut and Paste' in order to form that which they perceive to be their 'OWN' opinions, recent revelations SHOULD have endowed them with a little more insight. (imho).

My sincere thanks to any who have enjoyed reading my contributions, I imagine I will shortly be bound for distant shores for a month or so, I WILL finish my story and hope that "Kurupetos" will read a little faster.

Best wishes to 'Friend or Foe' on the Forum, as 'Alexander The Great' proved subsequent to his victory over 'Darius', it is always a mistake to view those who you may contest as 'Inferiors', they may prove to be your 'Masters' (Though your antagonist were an 'Ant' imagine him an 'Eleph..ant')