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[SKI-preo]

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a gigantic dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said:
"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My wife's."
''What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

The man replied, "Get in line."

[zoieh]

At an 100th birthday party in an old folks home the Matron said to the old fellow “What has been the happiest day in your life?” “Oh I remember it well” said the centenarian “I got up in the morning and put on my new suit, my new white shirt and tie. The limo took me to the church. Then I walked down the aisle to where she was waiting for me. Then I smiled at her, caressed her petite face with my hand and gave her a peck on the cheek. I then had the coffin lid screwed down.”