Cyprus-Forum.com

[Schnauzer]

Now I do crave your indulgence whilst I relate the tale which led to the creation of the above 'Brotherhood'.

For those members who are unfamiliar with 'Jimmy Light', I will briefly explain that he is widely known and highly respected as the leader of the itinerant organization 'Gentlemen Of The Road' and his followers are legion.

Recently, Jimmy was posted outside the local 'Tesco' store in Blackpool, he observed an elderly chap being accosted by one of the security guards as he left the premises and noticed that a packet of 'Digestive Biscuits' was being withdrawn from under the jumper of the elderly chap by the security guard. Jimmy immediately understood that the poor old chap (as he will henceforth be referred to) had probably purloined the biscuits and he rushed to the scene in order to offer any assistance he could which might resolve the situation without involving the police.

Unfortunately, in his eagerness to assist the distraught old chap, Jimmy waded in with his fists and the security guard (who was hell bent on making an arrest) ended arse upwards among the shopping trolleys.

Jimmy was arrested, the old chap was taken into custody within the store and Jimmy was charged with an assault.

However, when Jimmy appeared before the local 'Magistrates Court', he confounded the courtroom by vigorously defending
the action of the old chap whom (he insisted) was obliged to resort to stealing in order to survive on his measly pension. "This old geezer" said Jimmy,"Is an old bleedin' soljah, 'ee fort for tha bleedin' cuntree an nah 'ee car'n even ford ta bleedin' eat, it's gonna look bleedin' good in tha noospaypa's en'nit?".

Well, there was much consternation among the Magistrates when they realized the significance of Jimmy's words, the case against Jimmy was dropped, the old chap was freed to go about his business and AMAZINGLY, a directive was issued to all 'Tesco' stores (I suspect others will follow) that elderly people should NOT be prosecuted for petty theft.

Ah, but Jimmy is not the kind of person who would let such an event depart from his memory, neither would he ever tolerate harsh treatment of elderly folk "It jus' ain't bleedin' on Guvna" says Jimmy and I must admit that I believe there is much justice in his words, after all, the elderly of today were the youth of yesteryear, many of the youths gave up their lives in 'World War 2' in order that they that survived would enjoy better lives.

SO, Jimmy Light, "May the good Lord shine his countenance upon him" founded the 'S.C.R.O.T.U.M.S.' Brotherhood.

'Senior Citizen's Revolt Over The Unfair Monetary System' (to give it the full title) currently spreading nationwide with even greater possibilities !.

I spoke to Jimmy today, he sends his best wishes to all the folks in Cyprus, he had a very nice time when he was here and hopes to visit us again soon, he DID ask if the elderly folk who now shop at Lidl stores, might be interested in trying their luck with a packet of 'Lounza', who knows, the 'Brotherhood' may have reached these distant shores.

[Get Real!]

Schnauzer, how do we know you’re not an alien from outer space?

[Schnauzer]

Schnauzer, how do we know you’re not an alien from outer space?

Because Miltiades is a great friend of mine and HE would never associate with an alien !.

[bill cobbett]

Coincidently as i was leaving our local Tescos a few weeks ago here somewhere in Norf London i was accosted by one of these security guards who was keen to rummage amongst my perishable belongings. Now these had belonged to Tescos until a few minutes earlier when notes of the realm had been made over in exchange for them.

His request to return in to the store for some kind of public humiliation under the gaze of store cameras was politely declined and he didn't take up the offer of carrying out his duty to strip search me in the car-park. Bugger muttered something about banning me from the store and withdrew.

Guess that makes me eligible to apply for membership of this SCROTUM group?

[Schnauzer]

Coincidently as i was leaving our local Tescos a few weeks ago here somewhere in Norf London i was accosted by one of these security guards who was keen to rummage amongst my perishable belongings. Now these had belonged to Tescos until a few minutes earlier when notes of the realm had been made over in exchange for them.

His request to return in to the store for some kind of public humiliation under the gaze of store cameras was politely declined and he didn't take up the offer of carrying out his duty to strip search me in the car-park. Bugger muttered something about banning me from the store and withdrew.

Guess that makes me eligible to apply for membership of this SCROTUM group?

Actually Bill (if I may be so bold ?) providing you are of pensionable age, the privilege of membership is automatically granted and you are entitled to ALL benefits relevent to such membership.

Should you EVER find yourself in an embarrassing situation and feel that you are being victimised on account of your AGE, a mere phonecall will trigger an immediate response and your antagonists will feel the full force of 'Scrotums' upon 'em.

[bill cobbett]

Coincidently as i was leaving our local Tescos a few weeks ago here somewhere in Norf London i was accosted by one of these security guards who was keen to rummage amongst my perishable belongings. Now these had belonged to Tescos until a few minutes earlier when notes of the realm had been made over in exchange for them.

His request to return in to the store for some kind of public humiliation under the gaze of store cameras was politely declined and he didn't take up the offer of carrying out his duty to strip search me in the car-park. Bugger muttered something about banning me from the store and withdrew.

Guess that makes me eligible to apply for membership of this SCROTUM group?

Actually Bill (if I may be so bold ?) providing you are of pensionable age, the privilege of membership is automatically granted and you are entitled to ALL benefits relevent to such membership.

Should you EVER find yourself in an embarrassing situation and feel that you are being victimised on account of your AGE, a mere phonecall will trigger an immediate response and your antagonists will feel the full force of 'Scrotums' upon 'em.

"Ere watch it mate...!!! A bit less of the "pensionable age"!!!! Perhaps Junior Memberships are available for middle-aged grumps who look pretty youthful if you're short-sighted ?

[Schnauzer]

My apologies if I caused you distress BUT, I did place a proviso regarding age and subsequently referred to the future possibility of victimisation on account of it.

[Schnauzer]

To those residents of the UK who are about to (or already have) embarked upon their 'Festive Shopping' sprees (and I avoid the use of the word 'Christmas' out of deference to the 'P.C. Brigade' who have you poor Brits squirming under their authority), I am pleased to inform you that the leadership of the 'Brotherhood' of 'S.C.R.O.T.U.M.S'., has recently forced the British Government to investigate the unfair practices of the major 'Supermarkets' of the nation relative to their 'Pricing Scams'.

It would appear that the generally accepted nonsensical notions of 'Buy One Get One Free' were exposed as 'Frauds' by the 'Brotherhood of 'S.C.R.O.T.U.M.S'., which has caused considerable embarrassment to the executives of the said major 'Supermarkets' who now face reprisals from those 'Senior' to themselves.

Of course, the 'Buck' will be passed downward throughout the entire structure of each business involved in the 'Scam' and assurances (and explanations) will flow like the murky waters of the 'Thames' (which runs through the heart of the Capital City of the UK), fittingly so since the 'Murk' will be hardly visible as it merges with the rest of the 'Scams' foisted upon the 'Aged, Infirm and Needy' of P.C. UK.

But take heart "Ye Who Suffer", the watchful eye of 'Jimmy' is upon the perpetrators of the despondency which besets you all this 'Festive Season'. his vigilance will protect you from such future 'Scams' and the 'Brotherhood' of 'S.C.R.O.T.U.M.S'. will stand firm in the face of opposition to it's principles.

Long Life and happiness to those who adopt them and "The Curse of Jayzus on those who do not !".

[fig head]

Now I do crave your indulgence whilst I relate the tale which led to the creation of the above 'Brotherhood'.

For those members who are unfamiliar with 'Jimmy Light', I will briefly explain that he is widely known and highly respected as the leader of the itinerant organization 'Gentlemen Of The Road' and his followers are legion.

Recently, Jimmy was posted outside the local 'Tesco' store in Blackpool, he observed an elderly chap being accosted by one of the security guards as he left the premises and noticed that a packet of 'Digestive Biscuits' was being withdrawn from under the jumper of the elderly chap by the security guard. Jimmy immediately understood that the poor old chap (as he will henceforth be referred to) had probably purloined the biscuits and he rushed to the scene in order to offer any assistance he could which might resolve the situation without involving the police.

Unfortunately, in his eagerness to assist the distraught old chap, Jimmy waded in with his fists and the security guard (who was hell bent on making an arrest) ended arse upwards among the shopping trolleys.

Jimmy was arrested, the old chap was taken into custody within the store and Jimmy was charged with an assault.

However, when Jimmy appeared before the local 'Magistrates Court', he confounded the courtroom by vigorously defending
the action of the old chap whom (he insisted) was obliged to resort to stealing in order to survive on his measly pension. "This old geezer" said Jimmy,"Is an old bleedin' soljah, 'ee fort for tha bleedin' cuntree an nah 'ee car'n even ford ta bleedin' eat, it's gonna look bleedin' good in tha noospaypa's en'nit?".

Well, there was much consternation among the Magistrates when they realized the significance of Jimmy's words, the case against Jimmy was dropped, the old chap was freed to go about his business and AMAZINGLY, a directive was issued to all 'Tesco' stores (I suspect others will follow) that elderly people should NOT be prosecuted for petty theft.

Ah, but Jimmy is not the kind of person who would let such an event depart from his memory, neither would he ever tolerate harsh treatment of elderly folk "It jus' ain't bleedin' on Guvna" says Jimmy and I must admit that I believe there is much justice in his words, after all, the elderly of today were the youth of yesteryear, many of the youths gave up their lives in 'World War 2' in order that they that survived would enjoy better lives.

SO, Jimmy Light, "May the good Lord shine his countenance upon him" founded the 'S.C.R.O.T.U.M.S.' Brotherhood.

'Senior Citizen's Revolt Over The Unfair Monetary System' (to give it the full title) currently spreading nationwide with even greater possibilities !.

I spoke to Jimmy today, he sends his best wishes to all the folks in Cyprus, he had a very nice time when he was here and hopes to visit us again soon, he DID ask if the elderly folk who now shop at Lidl stores, might be interested in trying their luck with a packet of 'Lounza', who knows, the 'Brotherhood' may have reached these distant shores.

so, you saying that this chap is giving a green pass to the eldest to steal.. !!

age should not be a reason



TWO WRONGS DOES NOT MAKE IT RIGHT !!!

[Schnauzer]

Actually "NO" Figgy and if you grasp the significance of the story, you will realise that the critical point is that the 'Older Folk' are finding it so hard to survive the economic barriers they have to deal with, that the 'Government' have directed that 'Supermarkets' should be prepared to turn a blind eye to such incidents as described above.

NOT because they are particularly concerned about the 'Welfare' of those 'Older Folk' (which they are not) BUT, because they are ashamed of the fact that circumstances force some of them to resort to 'Petty Theft' in order to make ends meet.

'Heat or Eat' has become a slogan for the 'Older Generation' of the UK (in many cases) on account of the rising costs of fuel, directly attributable to the 'Campaigns for Oil' which are taking place courtesy of the 'Western Powers', it seems they have forgotten that the 'Older Folk' of today were the 'Youth' of yesteryear, many of whom who gave their lives to "Build a Nation fit for Heroes to live in", such a pity that the noble sounding objective NEVER came to fruition.

So you see Figgy, there is SOME justice in the efforts of S.C.R.O.T.U.M.S., albeit a shame to admit it. (imho)