‘THE INTENSIFIED talks, we are happy to report, are no longer moving at snail’s pace. The two leaders have heeded Ban Ki-moon and upped the tempo to a turtle’s pace according to talks’ insiders who wished to remain anonymous.
At last Wednesday’s meeting, which lasted five hours, Tof and Ero discussed territory. We can reveal today what happened at the meeting. For the first half hour the two leaders and their entourages exchanged social pleasantries in the foyer. Then they proceeded to the meeting room where Tof read out a document with his positions. This lasted 30 minutes. Then, Ero needed about 28 minutes to read out the document with his positions.
With the reading out of the way, the two leaders had to withdraw to their private rooms, with their respective advisors, to discuss the content of the document submitted by the other side. Big Bad Al gave the two 45 minutes to do this, but the comrade was unhappy, insisting that he needed an hour. He was granted his wish, but being a slow reader did not emerge from his quarters until an hour and 20 minutes later.
And then it was time for lunch. Once they had finished lunch, Yiorkos Iacovou made a ground-breaking suggestion. “Why don’t we have a coffee,” he asked. This was considered a brilliant idea as it would prevent anyone requesting time for a siesta.
After the coffee they returned to the meeting room, talked intensively about the proposals for 20 minutes and then stopped, because they had to discuss what the UN would tell the media about the meeting. This sorted, the two leaders, drained and exhausted by the intensity of the five-hour procedure, went home, content that they had added another small brick to the slow but steady building of the bi-zonal, bi-communal federation.’................
