The youngest and prettiest novice in the convent went to the Mother Superior and said, "Holy Mother, I have sinned, I have tasted the pleasures of the flesh."
"My poor child, how did this happen?"
"I was at my prie-dieu in my cell, when I heard the door open. I turned and saw it was Father O'Brien. He said to me, "You have the gateway to Heaven between your legs." I gasped, but he went on, "I have the key to Heaven to open the gateway.", which he proceeded to do."
"THE BASTARD!" responded the Mother Superior, "He always told me it was Gabriel's trumpet and I've been blowing it for years!"