Cyprus-Forum.com

[Malapapa]

I am visiting the Cypriot republic of north London in a few weeks, to catch up with some friends, and wondered if you could answer some questions…

• do I need a passport to cross the Green Lanes and enter the Cypriot occupied sector?

• will I be able to visit mainland Britain or any of the British isles afterwards if my passport is stamped?

• Can I avoid paying any tax while I'm there, like all the locals used to, or has that all stopped now?

• Is it true there's a Cypriot flag etched on the hill of Alexandra Palace? Or do real Cypriots have more class...

• Are there statues of Ata-George Michael everywhere, or were they pulled down when he declared his homosexuality?

• I want to get a real taste of traditional Cypriot north London life. Can you recommend any dress factory museums, open for tourists? One with a few hired grumpy women hunched over machines, showing how clothes used to be made?

• Is there anywhere I can hire a traditional north London Cypriot Mercedes-Benz W116 to get around? (And tinny bouzouki music on the stereo, if possible).

• Can you recommend anywhere where I can buy the proper Cypriot-style fish and chips? (Not Chinese or Kurdish). I want to be served by someone with a five o clock shadow and a thick accent? And a teenage son helping, who doesn't want to be there.

• I'd like to visit a traditional Cypriot north London show home. Are there any open to the public? One where there's a traditional 'jamaria' extension at the back, where the whole family lives, (complete with yiayia and paraffin heater). And the rest of the downstairs rooms are pristine 'cos no one ever goes there unless there's an important guest, like Prince Philip?

• also, are there any traditional north London Cypriot Orthodox churches (CofE conversions with icons)? Especially one's burnt down and rebuilt for the insurance? I'd love to see one and get a real sense of history...

• Are there any other points of interests? I'm sure there's loads to see. Can any locals advise?

[RichardB]

I'm glad you asked these questions Malapapa

I was going to but was too embarrased to ask

but in addition to yours may I ask the more enlightened if Greek is understood ?

And also will I get a discount if I use a smattering of English when ordering and maybe thus avoiding the poushto-kupraios tax?

[humanist]

RicharB .... sorry you cannot enter the Cypriot sector for longer than three days, you may spend your money, but based on the fact that you have British background you cannot have any property that may have belonged to you or you family, you cannot reside permanently and if you dare a take a pic of your ancestral home you will be fined. However, we have plenty of whores you can screw, and many casinos you can leave more of your money as we need to feed 35,000 troops who ensure we are under military rule and safe from them evil Brits



Thank you for Visiting the Cypriot Republic of Northern London Please come again

[RichardB]

RicharB .... sorry you cannot enter the Cypriot sector for longer than three days, you may spend your money, but based on the fact that you have British background you cannot have any property that may have belonged to you or you family, you cannot reside permanently and if you dare a take a pic of your ancestral home you will be fined. However, we have plenty of whores you can screw, and many casinos you can leave more of your money as we need to feed 35,000 troops who ensure we are under military rule and safe from them evil Brits



Thank you for Visiting the Cypriot Republic of Northern London Please come again

Absolute classic ....I really cannot top that

[humanist]

ZITO H KHPROS

[kurupetos]

ZITO H KHPROS

Is this russian?

[bill cobbett]

RicharB .... sorry you cannot enter the Cypriot sector for longer than three days, you may spend your money, but based on the fact that you have British background you cannot have any property that may have belonged to you or you family, you cannot reside permanently and if you dare a take a pic of your ancestral home you will be fined. However, we have plenty of whores you can screw, and many casinos you can leave more of your money as we need to feed 35,000 troops who ensure we are under military rule and safe from them evil Brits



Thank you for Visiting the Cypriot Republic of Northern London Please come again

Absolute classic ....I really cannot top that

Def classic, was gonna have a go, but what little brain have left is all a bit seized up at mo.

[rigsby]

I think you can enter the Cypriot Republic at Turnpike Lane,there is also an insurance office for your car although a lot of the Brits don,t bother.You can cross here if you want to get a job,or go to a benefits office and then cross back at night knowing you have got 40,000 Cypriot troops to protect you

[Malapapa]

Is it true they offer tours round "Meghas Alexandros" (formerly Alexandra) Palace, but have removed all references to its British history and heritage? And instead they hold some tacky Cyprus "wine festival" there, selling all sorts of useless bric-a-brac to unsuspecting tourists?

[RichardB]

is it true that the CRNL is being taken to the ECHR by the former British owners of properties there?

One day you will get what you deserve - 36 years selling our properties is enough.

Why should I have to go through an illegal commission to get my property back.

You are an illegal country with an illegal government living only on handouts from the ROC - No other country in the world recognises you.

ROC troops get out of my bloody country.