Dear A
How ever life involve me in different sort of stuff.
day after day, month after month and year after year.
i still think of you, i regret my decision to leave you.
after all those years when i think of why did we give up and leave,
i cant remember what went wrong.
but i remember whe when you said "listen to me my little girl, know that life isnt your friend and fate some times play hard games with us but you have to know that where ever you are, when ever you are i will be thinking of you as my baby girl and i will always love you"
i remember this day when you touched my nose as you always do to piss me off and played with my hair and told me" i know that what ever happen to us we will always be part of each others life, when im old and my hair is gray and you are a short old lady who cant walk straight we will be together"
how silly you sounded, i laughed so hard when ever you spoke to me like that.
see , A i never thought for a second that we wont be together!
back to this point of my life i was sure there is no chance we could part away!
we were the talk of the town! how great is our love story!
the elders thought we are blessed with a real god sent gift, we were souls
that was meant to be together, and they were right.
yet we loved each other more than love it started to kill us.
ooh my sweet other half
you were so different than any other boy i ever knew , you still different than any other boy i know.
the taste of your lips, so sweet and so sour like a strawberry!
the way your eyelashes curve and shaped your golden eyes!
the way time was meaningless, the way the world felt so safe and beautiful when we held each other till we fell asleep!
you were different because you are the only one who i ever loved so much more than i ever thought i can love anyone including my self!
i remember once you mad me sneak out of the house late at night
so you can show me how the stars reflects so much lights at midnight !!! hahaha
i remember that night when we laid in the garden looking to the stars and talking shit till it was morning and my mother saw you and wanted to kill you running after you like a mad checkin on fire!!
i cant forget how you look like, it doesnt matter how many years have gone!
you were right you aint just a guy you were the only guy !
you were my family, my child, my father and my lover!
i loved you in all shapes and forms!
and i still love you so much!
i even tried to forget you but i never did!
all the nice guys out there nothing like you!
i wish if i can see you! i wish i can grow old with you!
i wish we can run away together as we used to do when our parents were pissed off us for being together all the time!
i wish i can kiss you one more time and close my eyes and melt with your strawberry lips!
i wish if i can get back all those time we were together!
dear A, im sad you are not with me now ! i know you might be unhappy for my choices and unhappy for the way my life turned !
but you have to know that my choices where that bad and my life turned that way because im so angry!
im so angry i had to one day wake up knowing i need different plans for life.
im angry i had to be alife without you, im so angry that im so alone !
and i couldnt get on with my life, how could i when you was all my life!
i saw things with your eyes, i loved what you loved and hated what you hated!
what about our big wedding !?
what about my soul mate?!
what about our kids we suppose to have?!
the house we suppose to make a home?!
the life we were suppose to share together day after day?!
i was never supposed to end up alone! that was never an option!
you not being here for me wasnt also an option!
but life isnt our friend and fate plays some dirty tricks on us and you are gone
and im alone and nothing can change that.
and im writing this letter certain you will never read it.
and all i want to say A i miss you so much!!
it hurts !
and what i am now is the result of trying to be strong to accept that you are not here.
and it hurts so much !!
im broken and im dreaming one day when my time on this earth run out
i will be on the other side with you holding hands and running barefoot together happy again.
dear A you were the one who toght me what love is, love represented you.
dear A i was never happy as i was when we were together so, thank you for making me once the happiest girl alive.
dear A i love you
yours
Emma
