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by **fig head** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 1:07 am

She never thought life is bad
she never knew how to be sad
she had a smile full of hope
she had a heart waiting to be filled with love and joy
she had a curious eyes wondering how life can exceed her expectations

little she knew
fool she was

stupid to believe
stupid to have had hope
and god dam idiot to think it will ever get better

God!!, what a joke
Faith, shit load of crap

where was god when she watched people die
where was he when she almost died

when she bleeded to death when she gets beating up
when she couldnt breathe beause those hands chocking her

when it was her mistake because no one else toke the blame

when she was left all alone with blood on her hands
when she blamed her self for other people bad mistakes

she knew life isnt worth living yet she got up and walked in shame
she knew she will never lose her newly made best friend (guilt)

guilt seems to burn the wounds
guilt made her hold that sharp knife and cut her self over and over
every new cut is a pay back
every drop of blood is a reminder of the shame
every time she hold the knife and push it harder into her skin, she numbs the pain she feels inside

the cuts always heal but the pain never fade
the knife wasnt strong enough to cut her hands and feets, not strong enough to punish her self

she deserved more than just draining her own blood
it was no longer working , the pain she feels was more than the knife can hurt.

pain seemed to be a drug for her soul, the more she is in pain the more her soul get to rest.

she one day stopped fighting her self
she stopped fighting what happened
the bad things she saw, the evil she knew

the people who were once just people turned to be human bodies with emptiness living inside.

spiders in their eyes, snakes in their mouths
animals blood going through their vains

the world is not what she thought it is
the people are not what she knew they were
and the truth is just a concept

she gave up, she lost
she killed her self

and she is now resting in peace far away from this bad world.

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