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[dafula]

A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns. The guy says, "Wow... it works."

[dafula]

Little jonny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said to him, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little jonny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little jonny answered, "No... he minded his own f$cking business!!"

[dafula]

My girlfriend and I were making love when she looked up at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies." So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair. I never saw her again after that night. I guess we don't watch the same movies.




Confucius say: "Treat your woman like a vacuum cleaner, if she stops sucking, replace the bag."

[apc2010]

I went to the library and asked 'Which of your encyclopaedias covers Pakistan?'

Librarian: 'H to O'

[apc2010]

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat?


thrown out the childrens zoo..............

[ttoli]

Why dont Greek Orthadox priests believe in contraception?


Because 12 Year Old Boys can't get pregnant

[SKI-preo]

Why are camels called "Ships of the Desert"?

Because they're full of Islamic seamen

[SKI-preo]

what do you call a muslim in a police line up?

Wasim

[SKI-preo]

How come there aren't any Muslims on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.

[SKI-preo]

A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates.

He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Muhammad. Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.

'Are you Muhammad?' he asks.

'No, my son. I am Peter. Muhammad is higher up.'

And Peter points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Muhammad is higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides and climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.

He asks again, 'Are you Muhammad?'

'No, I am Moses. Muhammad is higher still.'

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy, he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard.

Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Muhammad?

'No, I am Jesus...You will find Muhammad higher up.'

Muhammad higher than Jesus! The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher. Once again, he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard sitting in a chair and repeats his question:

'Are you Muhammad?' he gasps,

As he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing.

'No, my son...I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like some tea?'

'Yes, please, my Lord'

God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:

'HEY MUHAMMAD, YOU LEBO PRICK, TURN THE KETTLE ON!'

(My client who is a lebanese muslim himself emailed me that one).