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Postby chrisp » Mon Dec 13, 2010 11:42 pm

Did you hear about the spastic that won a dancing competition?

He only got up to buy a packet of crisps!
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Postby CBBB » Tue Dec 14, 2010 3:41 am

chrisp wrote:Did you hear about the spastic that won a dancing competition?

He only got up to buy a packet of crisps!


Obviously it lost something in the translation from Swahili!
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Postby psycho » Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:30 pm

I was horrified to find out today that I've got Pakistani blood.

Luckily, It's only a little bit on the front bumper, most of it is under the wheel arches where you can't see it..!!
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Postby fig head » Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:34 pm

psycho wrote:I was horrified to find out today that I've got Pakistani blood.

Luckily, It's only a little bit on the front bumper, most of it is under the wheel arches where you can't see it..!!
:shock:
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Postby psycho » Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:46 pm

I'm going to buy the wife some slippers and a vibrator for Christmas.

If she doesn't like the slippers she can go and fuck herself..!!
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Postby webbo » Thu Dec 16, 2010 4:50 pm

Leaving my worming medicine clearly on display next to my shower gel made my time in prison a little more comfortable.
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Postby webbo » Thu Dec 16, 2010 4:53 pm

The wife and I tried some role play the other night.
"I'm an innocent young student who doesn't know any better, what are you going to do with me?", she said seductively.
Apparently beating her back with my riot shield and my baton wasn't what she was hoping for..
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Postby psycho » Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:52 pm

I think my wife might be dead?

The sex is the same but the laundry is piling up..!!
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Postby chrisp » Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:06 pm

Mr Smith was having his house valued to put it on the market. The valuer came back with a price of 200k "How come Mr Patels' house next door you valued it at 250k and its exactly the same as mine"?



"He hasn't got a paki living next door" came the reply[/list]
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Postby psycho » Fri Dec 17, 2010 7:23 am

An Asian boy dips his head in a bag of flour and says "look mum I'm a white boy". She slaps him and shows his dad, his dad slaps him and shows his Granddad who hits him with his stick.

His mum says "have you learnt anything from this"?

The boy replies, "Yeah, I've only been a white boy for 5 minutes and I hate you Paki bastards already"
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