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[Smiler Brian]

My mate has just adopted a little black lad.

I asked what his name was.

"Google" says my mate.

"Bit odd" says I.

"Yeah, but he's gonna get searched every day anyway"

[Schnauzer]

She was so ugly, she had to blindfold her vibrator.

[Cap]

[SpartanGamer]

What's the difference between JLS and Futurama?

There's only one bender in Futurama!

[CBBB]

The mayor of London was very worried about a plague of pigeons in
the City Centre

He could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of London
was full of pigeon poop, the people of London could not walk on
the pavements, or drive on the roads.

It was costing a fortune to keep the streets and pavements
clean.

One day a man came to the Town Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition.

'I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without any cost to
the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions.

Or, you can pay me one million pounds to ask one question.'


The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition

The next day the man climbed to the top of the Nelson's Column, opened his coat, and
released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and
flew up into the bright blue London sky.

All
the pigeons in London saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in
the air behind the bird. The London pigeons followed
the blue pigeon as she flew eastwards out of the city.

The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man on top of
Nelson's Column


The Mayor was very impressed. He felt the man and the blue pigeon had
performed a wonderful miraculous service to rid London of the
plague of pigeons. Even though the man with the pigeon had charged
nothing, the mayor presented him with a check for 1 million pounds and
told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though
they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the city of pigeons, he
decided to pay the 1 million just to get to ask ONE question.

The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his ONE question.

The mayor asked:












“Do you have a blue Paki ?? “

[SpartanGamer]

I was stood outside a pub having a cigarette, minding my own business when a man in a wheelchair rolls past and says to me,

"why are you smoking when you dont need to"?

I paused for a second and said

"why are you wearing trainers"?

[SpartanGamer]

"One lady owner."

So the clutch is screwed then.

[Cap]

"One lady owner."

So the clutch is screwed then.

lol, and the rear view mirror.

[SpartanGamer]

"One lady owner."

So the clutch is screwed then.

lol, and the rear view mirror.

And the rear bumper

[SpartanGamer]

Christmas has been cancelled.
Mary has owned up.


My 6 year old son keeps wetting his bed so while he was at school today I put an electric blanket on his bed.. Little brat is in for a shock.