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by **Zorba** » Sat May 22, 2010 12:06 am

Rubber Mistake

I borrowed a DVD from my mate called "Bald and Barely Legal"....

All the way home I had a huge boner in anticipation, and as I sat there, erect cock in hand ready to wank myself to oblivion, I slipped the disc in the machine....

Imagine my disappointment to find it was a short ministry of transport film about tyre treads..... :cry:

by **apc2010** » Sat May 22, 2010 12:11 am

Same thing happened to me read a report on Schinndler's list that said "get the tissues ready" had my trousers down and .................................. (well except the shower scene )...nothing

by **AquaMan** » Sat Jun 12, 2010 1:17 am

How do you get 3 Cypriots in a Smart car?
1 on the left seat
1 on the right seat
Grigoris Pieris Afxentiou in the ashtray

(You asked) :roll:

by **Svetlana** » Sat Jun 12, 2010 5:17 am

There are 4 men in a car driving to Larnaca Airport, a Cypriot, a Russian, a Bangleshi and a Sri Lancan, who was driving?

The Immigration guy!

<<I now await Grump to respond telling me when I last posted this joke LOL..

by **YFred** » Sat Jun 12, 2010 10:52 am

Svetlana wrote:There are 4 men in a car driving to Larnaca Airport, a Cypriot, a Russian, a Bangleshi and a Sri Lancan, who was driving?

The Immigration guy!

<<I now await Grump to respond telling me when I last posted this joke LOL..

You may well do that but it is not funny.

by **apc2010** » Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:26 pm

Teacher to class, "What does your dad do at weekends?" Little boy replies, "He's a dancer in a gay bar and if the money is right he lets punters bang his arse and cum in his mouth" Teacher takes him outside and asks "Is this true?" "No it's bollocks, miss" he replies, "He plays for England but i'm too fucking embarrassed to say!"

by **apc2010** » Sat Jul 17, 2010 2:11 pm

On the eve of our anniversary my wife and I agreed that whoever woke up first in the morning should wake the other one with oral sex.

Come the morning I was up first so I slowly pulled back the covers...

... and stuck my cock in her mouth.

by **alex_ruffneck** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 2:56 pm

dinos wrote:--

An elementary school teacher, a lawyer, a Catholic priest and three young boys are on a plane with only three parachutes. Engines explode, plane starts going down.

The teacher says, 'Save the children!'

The lawyer yells, 'FUCK THE CHILDREN!'

The Catholic priest looks around and whispers, 'Is there time?'

--

by **apc2010** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 2:38 pm

A mother is sitting in the garden with her three daughters.

"Mummy," the first daughter asks. "Why am I called Rose?"

"Because when you were born a rose petal fell from that bush and landed on your forehead."

"Mummy," asked the second daughter. "Why am I called Tulip?"

"Because when you were born a tulip petal fell from over there and landed on your forehead."

The third daughter moaned: "Mnanmammmammnaamammangh!"

"Be quiet Fridge," said the mother.

by **thegame24** » Wed Jul 21, 2010 2:02 am

I dont know how offensive this is because all my black mates find it hilarious.

How do you know Adam and Eve wernt black?
...................

Have you ever tried taking a rib off a black man!?

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