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[SKI-preo]

A criminal escapes from Long Bay prison where he has been in Maximum Security for 25 years. He breaks into a housing commission flat to look for and finds a couple of 10 pound poms in bed. He orders the pommie bloke out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the pommie girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then goes to the toilet.
While the criminal is in the toilet, the Pom tells his wife: "Listen,moi darlin' dis geezer's an eckscaped inmate of Er Majesty's innit, look at 'is bloomin' clothes! Ee probably spent lots-o-time in gaol and hasn't seen a bird in 'ears and 'ears... Oi saw how ee just snogged you on your neck. If' ee fancies a shag, don't resist, don't complain. Do wot-eva ee tells you love. Satisfy 'im no matta 'ow much ee disgusts you. Dis geezer's probably dangerous innit. If he gets angry, ee'll kill us both. Be strong,my darlin'. Oi love ya." To which the Pommie girl responds: "Ee wasn't kissing me neck, innit. Ee was whisperin' in me ear. Ee told me ee was a chutney ferret, thought you were a bit of alright, and arksed if we add any Vaseline. Oi told 'im it was in the cupboard near the loo. Be strong moi darlin', Oi love you too, innit!!"