Cyprus-Forum.com

[fig head]

looking back, a train of thoughts invading my so pretended peace.

making shapes out of me, making shapes out of who i used to be.

and i always find you in the corner of my mind, screaming sheding agony.

with the street lights, the friends, the laughs with who i am i always find you.

waiting in the darkest of my thoughts , holding your breath.

hiding between my papers , my words, you were once the one who defined the meanings for me.
-------------------

confused.. yes im, a mess trying to shape it self into a figure.

drawing my own face, drawing the need in my eyes through you.

pictures, sounds, feelings framing it selfs into a memory.

what used to be the present, what used to be the future,

hope and dreams, fantacies that used to be facts.

facts, my own exsistence had proven over and over to be the truth.

and here i am holding on to the bits and pieces from the truth that has been long gone.

yes, long gone with you, leaving your only exitence on this earth in my memories.

is it time to run away.. far away?.

is is time to kill the only piece of me that ever mattered to me?

is it time to leave you and go?


havent i thought it over before, havent i dreamed of freeing my self of you.

but with you is the only me i ever knew,

so to just drop you from my memories i lose me.

and i will be empty of what made me me.

and i lose the definition of things, i will lose how i used to feel you.
-------------------

i once believed , i had a faith, but it was all gone with you.

i look deep into me to find nothing, emptiness, darkeness and silence.

i saw me fading into numbness, even the pain had faded into a pain free zone

no matter how much hurt can feel like hurting, is only a scream that remind me im still here.

im alive or at least this is what im pretending to be.

i breath, i walk, i talk, i can put a smile on my face and drawn my self into what so called life.

but i fail to feel alive, i fail to be here.

i look for you in people faces, knowing that your the only face i`ll never find.

the game of life.. poeple go, people leave !!

and life goes on, moving forward but some things, some poeple never leave.

i`ve got your heart beats ticking in the deep of my chest

i`ve got you living in my dreams.
---------------------

and god you disappointed me.

god you had torn me from the inside leaving my soul bleading.

those wounds ache, those wounds never heal.

so god i announce you out of my world,

i`ll burn my faith, set a fire to hope

and i`ll watch all of the good die , i`ll watch the life give up living

and i wont let my anger go and fade into the nothingness like every thing i knew

cause bitterness and a lost hurtful soul wont fogive, wont forget

-----------------------

and i`ll wait , in a world that doesnt contain me

i`ll live with a body and a sleep drugged soul

i will wait till the starts no longer reflect lights

i will wait till the sea reject all of its livings

i`ll wait till the space cry for you, for me

and i`ll keep you my prisoner i`ll keep my self a prisoner

in a world that doesnt have you..

i`ll live for you , i`ll live by you

------------------------

and i`ll love you as i always knew how to love only you..

and forgive me if i left you in my thoughts alone

forgive me for being here without you..

but when i die i wont be afraid, i know it will be time to be with you

-------------------------

.. thoughts are only what is left of you.. isnt that painful

not having you, not seeing you, knowing that i will never come back home to find you

no matter how much i wanted just to go home expecting you to be there, you wont.

and home is empty, is another dark thought living in the nothingness and emptiness within me..

.. i`ll live without you, i`ll live without me

for ever after you will be my story

a story of joy, love and life.. and i`ll find you in my books and between my thoughts

i`ll cary your heart with me, i`ll carry your heart in me aftar all im the one whos life for ever after

changed back in this second i ever knew you..
________________________________________________________

Phewww well.. i think i can call this a poem

[Oracle]

I like this line:

but with you is the only me i ever knew,



Someone once said they didn't have time to write a short poem, so they wrote a long one.

Does that make sense?

If you trim it down, it would be great

[fig head]

thanks oracle, i`ll keep that on mind .. its bit long init

[denizaksulu]

thanks oracle, i`ll keep that on mind .. its bit long init

That is fine Emma.

Big pain will beget a long poem.

I am waiting for the next one with anticipation.