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[Svetlana]

Christmas can be a time of lonelyness - and some less fortunate CF members (especially Bluebafoon) may have considered joining a 'Dating' website to broaden their social life - or in Bafoon's case get his first friend (as opposed to cell-mate)..

For these people, I offer the following guide to Dating website terminology:

Women’s
40-ish: 49
Adventurous: Slept with all of your friends
Athletic: Flat chested
Average looking: Face like a basset hound
Beautiful: Pathological liar
Contagious smile: Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated: Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally secure: Medicated
Feminist: Fat ball-buster
Free spirit: Junkie
Friendship first: Trying to live down her reputation as a slut
Fun: Annoying (whoop whoop)
Good listener: Borderline autistic
New-age: All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned: Lights out, missionary position only, no blowjobs
Open-minded: Desperate
Outgoing: Loud and embarrassing
Passionate: Sloppy drunk
Professional: On the Game
Reubenesque: Grossly fat
Romantic: Looks best by dim candlelight
Social: Has been passed around like an hors d’oeuvres tray
Wants soulmate: Stalker
Young at heart: Older than dirt

Men’s
40-ish: 53 and looking for a 25-year-old
Athletic: Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking: Unusual hair growth on ears, nose and back
Educated: Will patronise the life out of you
Free spirit: Banging your sister
Friendship first: As long as friendship includes blowjobs
Good looking: Arrogant
Very good looking: Dumb as a bag of hammers
Fun: Good with a remote and a six pack
Honest: Pathological liar
Huggable: Grossly fat with extensive body hair
Mature: Older than your father
Open-minded: Wants to sleep with your roommate
Poet: Wrote his ex-girlfriend’s phone number on the urinal
Sensitive: Gay
Very sensitive: Very Gay
Spiritual: Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable: Arrested for stalking, but not convicted

[TALISMAN]

Svetlana

I would like to send you a PM for advice please, however not enough posts to do that, any other way

[sniper]

Christmas can be a time of lonelyness - and some less fortunate CF members (especially Bluebafoon) may have considered joining a 'Dating' website to broaden their social life - or in Bafoon's case get his first friend (as opposed to cell-mate)..

For these people, I offer the following guide to Dating website terminology:

Women’s
40-ish: 49
Adventurous: Slept with all of your friends
Athletic: Flat chested
Average looking: Face like a basset hound
Beautiful: Pathological liar
Contagious smile: Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated: Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally secure: Medicated
Feminist: Fat ball-buster
Free spirit: Junkie
Friendship first: Trying to live down her reputation as a slut
Fun: Annoying (whoop whoop)
Good listener: Borderline autistic
New-age: All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned: Lights out, missionary position only, no blowjobs
Open-minded: Desperate
Outgoing: Loud and embarrassing
Passionate: Sloppy drunk
Professional: On the Game
Reubenesque: Grossly fat
Romantic: Looks best by dim candlelight
Social: Has been passed around like an hors d’oeuvres tray
Wants soulmate: Stalker
Young at heart: Older than dirt

Men’s
40-ish: 53 and looking for a 25-year-old
Athletic: Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking: Unusual hair growth on ears, nose and back
Educated: Will patronise the life out of you
Free spirit: Banging your sister
Friendship first: As long as friendship includes blowjobs
Good looking: Arrogant
Very good looking: Dumb as a bag of hammers
Fun: Good with a remote and a six pack
Honest: Pathological liar
Huggable: Grossly fat with extensive body hair
Mature: Older than your father
Open-minded: Wants to sleep with your roommate
Poet: Wrote his ex-girlfriend’s phone number on the urinal
Sensitive: Gay
Very sensitive: Very Gay
Spiritual: Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable: Arrested for stalking, but not convicted

lol lana now i know what not to use when describing myself