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Computers

Postby chrisp » Mon Sep 21, 2009 5:56 pm

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............
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Postby IcyNoAngel » Sat Sep 26, 2009 7:42 pm

that's stupid. who's kid will find that funny?
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Postby YFred » Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:26 pm

Very good. I was reading it in their style of delivery and it works for me.
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Postby denizaksulu » Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:33 pm

IcyNoAngel wrote:that's stupid. who's kid will find that funny?



You must be soooooooo young not to remember Abbott and Costello. :lol:

Its fast slapstick humour.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Someone stop me laughing. :twisted:
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Postby IcyNoAngel » Mon Sep 28, 2009 7:16 pm

Nice seeing people laughing. I don't find it funny :shock:
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Postby denizaksulu » Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:21 pm

IcyNoAngel wrote:Nice seeing people laughing. I don't find it funny :shock:



Icy is your name.............
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Postby CBBB » Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:44 pm

I think the name is IcyNoSenseOfHumour. I remember the original sketch(obviously from re-runs!), and I thought this was funny.

There again, I used to line in 'ole in road! You were lucky!
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Postby SSBubbles » Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:04 pm

CBBB wrote:I think the name is IcyNoSenseOfHumour. I remember the original sketch(obviously from re-runs!), and I thought this was funny.

There again, I used to line in 'ole in road! You were lucky!


Obviously! :roll: :roll: :roll:
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Postby yialousa1971 » Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:46 am

SSBubbles wrote:
CBBB wrote:I think the name is IcyNoSenseOfHumour. I remember the original sketch(obviously from re-runs!), and I thought this was funny.

There again, I used to line in 'ole in road! You were lucky!


Obviously! :roll: :roll: :roll:


:? :? :?
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Postby SSBubbles » Mon Oct 05, 2009 8:03 am

yialousa1971 wrote:
SSBubbles wrote:
CBBB wrote:I think the name is IcyNoSenseOfHumour. I remember the original sketch(obviously from re-runs!), and I thought this was funny.
There again, I used to line in 'ole in road! You were lucky!

Obviously! :roll: :roll: :roll:

:? :? :?


I see you are confused yialousa! Well, knowing that CBBB is a gentleman of - let us say - advanced years - it is more than likely that he remembers the ORIGINAL SKETCH and he jests when stating otherwise! :lol: :roll: :lol: :roll:
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