A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their
wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a
virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been
married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great
it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed
to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically
but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't
know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three
years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but
he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure
how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"