Twilight wrote:Such an interesting story , bit off the thread though .. but who cares ! I did just what you said , and married out of my culture ( but spending my childhood in Australia , then family returning to the UK , had and still does play havoc with what culture i belong to !!) So at the tender age of 16 , having Ma going through a breakdown, suppose left me running a home for both my parents. I fell for the charms of an oriental friend of my Fathers, though he was only a few years older than me. I ended pregnant , before knowing what it was all about, got married as a sense of duty . Remained faithful , worked hard , had 3 adorable children, was juggling bringing up my children , with running a restaurant a few of them ! Early in the marriage I soon realised that I was more of a commodity and not a pertnership. As in good buisness woman , Good Mother , but never the less English and the children also half English. So yes we was treat differently by my own people and my husbands people. My husbands true colours came out as a gambler as we earned the money he would hit the casino's.Of course with that addiction came all the rest drinking, violence, cheating.So life went on and as my Mother said ..you made your bed , you lie in it . Thats what i did for 23 long years , bringing up the children , protecting them , working with them . laughing with them.Now they are grown and the elder 2 did marry into their Fathers culture , one ended in divorce.The younger one also married a different culture , but all have happier live ....And me , am so much happier ...But what culture is my culture !! That i have still not worked out ...But life is for the living and everyone is different , many do marry their own culture and end up divorced also ..So Hey who knows what ..Gosh you must have inspired me , for me to write all this lotOh and before the nasty comments start .. if you have ever lived in an abusive relationship , your self belief also your self esteem slowly disintergrates .. But it does return , and is so much stronger ,so you are able to withstand any problems thrown your way .. Always look on the bright side ...The nomade of cultures ...Me
Thanks for bravely sharing that Twilight. Sure, crossing cultures knocks your self-confidence as you struggle to fit into both ... only seeing shortfalls, when you don't get it quite right. But, what you gain from cross-cultural encounters by living within/between them, has been proven to be enriching. So, your self esteem has probably only suffered because of your increased awareness ...
Enjoy the rest of your life which will be better from all the experiences you've mastered so far
