Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing
liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a
"new & improved" flavour?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the
indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
AND...
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because
of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how???)
On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought????...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for these ones:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Good questions...
7 posts
• Page 1 of 1
Good questions...
by Yiannis » Thu Jun 23, 2005 1:29 am
-
Yiannis - Contributor
- Posts: 417
- Joined: Mon May 09, 2005 5:04 am
- Location: Philadelphia,USA / Nicosia,Cyprus
Re: Good questions...
by demetriou_74 » Thu Jun 23, 2005 7:48 pm
i will try to answr some of these
Yiannis wrote:Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin? - darkens becasue of heamagloben
Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed? - key word women
Why you don't ever see the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"? - they make it up
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? -
Why Doctors call what they do "practice"? - scary
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows? you start the shut-down process
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing
liquid is made with real lemons? - because idiots think its better
Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"? - dont trust them if they were that good they would be doing for themselves
Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food? - beef tastes better
Who tastes dog food when it has a
"new & improved" flavour? - dogs??
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes? - he was stuck behind 2 elephants
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? - some PC bullshit prob.
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the
indestructible black box? too expensive and prob too heavy to fly
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains? they are not made of wool
Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together? - pass
If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress? - only if you are very s......l.......o....w
-
demetriou_74 - Regular Contributor
- Posts: 1615
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 7:06 pm
- Location: London, Greek Cypriot
-
demetriou_74 - Regular Contributor
- Posts: 1615
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 7:06 pm
- Location: London, Greek Cypriot
7 posts
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