Cyprus-Forum.com

[YFred]

May God help us all.

Do you fancy a Greek or Turkish coffee?
By Hermes Solomon

I’M CERTAIN we all secretly wonder where these latest talks to settle the Cyprob are leading.

We’ve all seen repeatedly this past year that well-worn TV newsreel of our respective leaders getting in and out of flash cars, shaking hands with each other and the UN Special Envoy, entering and exiting UN areas and really, little else.

Who cannot predict the outcome of these latest talks when the mood of the people can now best be described as apathetic on both sides?

A refugee friend scolded me in the coffeeshop the other day for not writing about it.

‘I’d prefer you wrote something about a settlement, an amelioration’ he said.

‘A settlement..?’

‘Yes. It’s about time somebody did!’

‘What for..? We like it the way it is – keeping them imprisoned up there while we make a mint down here.’

‘So I’ll never get it back?’

‘Your father’s house, you mean?’

‘What else?’

‘No, never – his sister warned him in 63 that it was built on sand.’

‘But these endless talks must be leading somewhere, surely?’

‘We’re good at talking, and that’s about all; two of us in the same room and three separate opinions on how to solve a problem. You know what we’re like, big mouths and loud voices, full stomachs and empty heads.

‘You can hardly expect Greek and Turk to live next door to one another after what happened. I often argue with my neighbor. I’d stab him if he was a Turk; stab him for what happened in 74!

‘Did you watch the news last night on RIK; see both leaders arriving at UN Headquarters? Our president was wearing jubilant blue, theirs and the UN Special Envoy serious black. Isn’t black the preferred color of undertakers?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘They did not come to praise our leader. The report ended with a short clip of ageing refugees remonstrating outside the Presidential Palace, calling for the return of land and homes on both sides. Imagine, 35 years on, and on and on it goes.’

‘But ours is the only justifiable claim?’

‘Yes, but the north wants direct rule and a loose central government. Didn’t you read their leader’s lips? Which of them looked cocky and superior? Which of them has nothing to lose and only comes to these meetings in the hope of ratifying on paper what was taken by force? Jokes aside, we deserve no less, believing like we did in UN resolutions.’

‘But hasn’t enough time elapsed for us to arrive at some sort of settlement, no matter what?’

‘Don’t be silly! Can you imagine the ensuing chaos? Our administration struggles to cope with just half a country. Will they speak Turkish to their counterparts? They should have made the English language obligatory for everyone in 1878; we would have buried our doubtful origins back then and gone forward as a united people.’

‘So things will stay as they are?’

‘Yes, two separate and autonomous states linked by a weak central government. Existing boundaries will remain and no refugees will return to their homes. Compensation for lost property will be sacrificed for the future good of the nation.’

‘But my parents died still believing they would go back to their home one day… like the Jews did to Israel!’

‘But the Israelis love their country. We don’t love ours anymore – just look at the way we treat it. We look like them, yes, but not as clever, persistent or sacrificial. Besides, we’ve nobody in le Maison Blanche.’

‘But you’re the voice of the people! Surely, you can influence…’

‘Rubbish! The people’s voice comes from over 5,000 miles away, on the other side of the Atlantic. Learn to swim…’

‘Then why don’t we deal with them directly and nobody else?’

‘It’s easier to get into Fort Knox. And let’s face it, it’s all about money, and our GDP has about as much sway on world opinion as the Doldrums had on the Marie Celeste.

‘Besides, what is there to talk about? The rightful republic is that bit in the middle; the Turkish army is running the north and the British the south, what with their radar spy network on Mount Olympus and sovereign bases along the coast. We live on a reservation like those yanks gave to the Red Indians.

‘But ours is comfortable and we want to keep it that way. We’ll never see eye to eye with our Muslim brethren. Our different religions and languages would never permit it. Reunification is a non starter. Get that into your head and don’t forget it! Do you fancy a coffee?’

‘Nai... Elliniko.’

Why not Cypriot..?

A bit of good or bad news after the Orams decision – depending on your standpoint – is that owners of TC property built on GC land are running scared.

Some have even put their properties on the market. But in this recession, the likelihood of selling at a profit is remote – about as remote as our leaders finding a satisfactory solution. Then again, how about the title deeds?

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, and nobody’s better at it than a Cypriot.

Amelioration, sounds like a girl’s name.




Copyright © Cyprus Mail 2009

[bill cobbett]

Coffee eh? Here is a terrible, treacherous confession, not very fond of cy/gr/tr coffee.

Much rather have an Italian "espresso" or a Spannish "solo" or a nice German or French filtered one. We're all Europeans now with our modern cosmopolitan, European tastes in coffee and aspirations to so many other things European including their democratic systems.

... But you can't beat the convenience, the I want it now, of instant coffee so there's much to be said for Nescafe... From Switzerland, the land of the Cantons.

[paliometoxo]

i like lebanese coffee. i hate hate taste of cypriot coffee.. never tried turkish and probably wont ever..

[miltiades]

I love Cypriot coffee , however in my days it was called Turkish - Tourchikos. I have not changed , still have two Tourchikous skettous a day 7 days a week . Let us not be like , you know who , who have changed names of Cypriot villages that existed more than a thousand years.

[bill cobbett]

Gr/Tr/Cy coffee, metrios, skertos, whatevever it's called, you need a sigla of water to wash away the Ottoman taste.

[Oracle]

It sounds to me like this "journalist" could not be arsed to do any research, so he sat there, and invented a dialogue (which does not sound like spontaneous speech one little bit ) ... and just gave it to his equally lazy editor ... result ... a load of garbage!

[The Cypriot]

May God help us all.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave...


Copyright © Cyprus Mail 2009

Sums up Hermes Solomon's article very well. I can't believe for one moment the Cyprus Mail paid him to produce such drivel.

[DT.]

99% of Yfred's favourite articles are from GC press. Go figure which side is more prepared for a solution.

[insan]

I like GC coffee more than I like TC or Turkish coffee bcz it is thicker and tastier... However I'm not addicted to it. I only drink GC coffee when I visit Larnaca. My addiction is Crown 2 in 1, instant coffee.

Amelioration, sounds like a girl’s name. True...