By Jacqueline Theodoulou
WITH THE usual exception of Phileleftheros newspaper, all Greek Cypriot dailies yesterday celebrated April Fool’s Day with their own made-up stories.
Alithia chose to put a funny spin on the recent spat that broke out between State Prosecutor Savvas Matsas and Deputy Attorney-general Akis Papasavvas.
The two – who fell out over Matsas’ claims that he had been fined by police out of revenge because he had openly condemned a court decision to acquit ten policemen of beating two students – dominated the headlines last week with their heated exchange of insults.
The paper reported that the two men nearly came to blows at the Legal Services’ offices over the appeal to the case, which will be lodged to the Supreme Court today.
It said Matsas and Papasavvas had started shoving each other, and it was only when Attorney-general Petros Clerides intervened that the spirits were calmed. His timely intervention resulted in him sustaining a scratch on his arm.
The whole affair, it concludes, was caught on one of the surrounding lawyers’ mobile phone cameras – a clear reference to the fact that the two students’ beating had been caught on camera, yet it wasn’t deemed evidence enough to convict the policemen.
“The Cathedral will be built with Muslim money!” screamed one of Politis’ front page headlines, claiming Archbishop Chrysostomos II had made an agreement with Qatar investors to build the Church of Cyprus’ cathedral in Nicosia.
According to the paper, the Church will in exchange offer 200 donums of church-owned land near Larnaca Airport to the Qatari Investments Fund, to build a five-star hotel.
“The new temple will have a capacity of 800 churchgoers, will be 26 metres tall and will have four bells,” it said.
The story is a clear mockery of the government’s plan to offer state-owned land to Qatari investors opposite the Hilton Hotel, where a National Guard base is located; a decision that provoked an intense reaction from opposition and coalition parties alike.
Left-wing daily Haravghi chose to mock the sometimes extremist right-wing party EVROKO, saying it had it inside information that the party was planning to include a Turkish Cypriot lawyer on its voting list for the European Elections – “provoking great shock all around”.
The lawyer, it said, lived in the free areas but was a frequent visitor to the occupied areas.
Simerini joked that President Demetris Christofias was planning to announce a number of tax cuts to help the working public deal with the imminent recession.
According to the paper, the President is today expected to hold an out-of-schedule press conference to announce a number of tax reductions, which include: an increase of untaxed income to €27,000, Cost of Living Allowance (CoLA) to all workers, scrapping road tax for the next three years, a three-year postponement of capital and transfer fees, scrapping property VAT and scrapping fuel and cigarette taxes.
The measures, it added, would come at a cost and President Christofias was expected to make some radical changes to make up for it. “According to our sources, Demetris Christofias is planning to drastically reduce public employees’ wages, as they absorb more than 75 per cent of the GDP. There will also be radical reductions in the wages of ministers and other state officials by 67 per cent, while in the next few days, the President will send a bill to Parliament requesting a 50 per cent decrease in MPs’ wages.”
Right-wing daily Machi reported that Parliament had decided to approve a full smoking ban in all public areas, despite the fact that deputies have been arguing for months over what the best option would be.
It said, “It appears that Child Commissioner Leda Koursoumba changed the House Health Committee’s mind with her views and categorical opinion in favour of a full smoking ban in all public areas and especially where children and teenagers are”.
And in case you were wondering the Cyprus Mail wrote about Cyprus employing UK-style surveillance methods to clamp down on things like bad driving, illegal immigration and escaped convicts - see what we did there?
Citing an unpublished report, the Mail said cameras would be installed in every corner of the island – “all traffic intersections, outside public buildings, schools, kiosks, nightclubs, cabarets and banks, and on lamp posts around the towns.”
The all-inclusive system, it added, would include the latest X-ray body machines for airports and the newest version of the taser for police, which delivers an electric shock. “A larger version can also be deployed for crowd control.”
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Was it me Haravgi kidding with?
