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[rivington]

A little old lady was dozing in the chair , a elderly cat lying across her lap. All of a sudden there was a mighty flash and a genie appeared.

'What is your wish - mistress?' the genie inquired of the old lady.

Dreamingly awakening, the old lady thought for a moment or two,and then said, 'I would like to be young and beautiful again,and I would like Tom the cat to be turned into a handsome,virile young man'.

'You're wish is my command' uttered the genie.

And with a almighty flash of light the lady and the cat assumed the forms of a beautiful young women and a equally beautiful young man.

The young man glanced across at the wonderful young women,and taking her hand in his own, drew her towards his chest.Leaning his head towards her, he whispered softly beside her ear.

'I bet you're sorry now you had me neutered.'

[brother]

[rivington]

ta brother, here's another CATastrophe.

A landlord was working late in the cellar of his pub when the ghost of a cat appeared before him.

'Do you remember me?' mewed the cat.

'Yes, I remember you',replied the landlord. 'You was Tom the pub cat.A very good cat too. We all missed you when you got run over by the brewery wagon.What are you doing down in my cellar this time of night?'

'Well', said the cat. 'I wondered if you would do me a very big favour?. When I got run over , I lost my tail. Do you think you could re-attach it for me?.The cat waved his tail pitifully at the man.

'I'm really sorry',said the landlord.' I'd love to help ,but unfortunately I'm not allowed to retail spirits after 11-o-clock.'

[brother]